Tuesday, July 12, 2011

society and girls

Dolls, to more specific "fashion dolls" like Barbie, I dont allow them in my home. And with lots of time on my hands because of needing to take it slow for my back I have plently of time to read feminist reviews on the sociological impact of dolls on girls. I am not worried about my son but I have been scared for my daughter since she was born.

I didnt want to much pink, when she was a baby, if people mistaken my bald baby girl as a boy because she was in blue (it matched her eyes) then I would say, "who said girls cant wear blue?"Normally that would make them quite and walk away. My son was just as bald but he still wore some of the gender neutral clothes from when his sister was a baby. IF people confused him as a girl, I would mention to them that oh "HE" does look like his sister as a baby.

So why be so worried about gender imprinting on children at such an early age. Why give my daughter every kind of toy but a doll or hide the dolls away till she could take them out of the toy box. I didnt want her to think thats all she could do. When I look at her and tell her that she is pretty/beautiful I follow that up with how it just shows her inner stregnth and how she is brave.

for having a 2 and 4yr old, they both love to be active and play outside. All of their friends are neighborhood boys. The boys range in age from 5-9 and when they try to catorgize my children I wont let them. They love to hear Jocelyne scream when she sees a bug, but at home I dont scream when I see a bug, I try to take it outside and explain how it must of got lost and misses its family. (Amos kills the bugs).

So when Jocelyne made the correlation of Mommy doesnt kill things, but daddy does it was a shocker. When she had me teach her how to pee outside like boys so she wouldnt have to keep going home to go potty, I did.  To me squatting  and not getting your clothes wet/has been a very valuable thing to know. So I taught her to go behind a tree/bush and make sure no one can see you. I giggle when I think of how she will now say she needs to go but can go on the side of the road.

I digress... back to dolls.
I dont see dolls as a positive thing at her age. Yes we have some dolls, baby dolls, a few tinkerbell fairies, but nothing she plays with for more then a few days every few months. I rewrite her fairy tail books when I tell her the stories (lucky for me she cant read and know the difference yet) but I dont want her to think she is incapable. She knows tinkerbell is pertend, but she is nice and she fixes things like Grandma pink. Princesses are pretty but we need to teach them to be brave and strong like us (me and her). I try to always find positive and uplifting role models for her. That is why I love this sites blog and facebook page. Redefining Girly     check it out.

Raising a girl is so much harder then a boy. But I have had to defend my sons desire to play "baby" dolls with his sister. He loves to push the stroller. Sometimes I think just because it has wheels, but I refuse to take the doll away, he needs to learn to nurture and be kind as well.

So dont just tell girls they are pretty and have them dress like a doll. dont-tell-little-girls-they-are-pretty.. I cant watch "toddler and tiares" for the very reason, I wonder how much therapy these girls will need when they grow up.

end parenting rant/rave/insecurity.

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