procrastionation

sometimes procrastionation pays:

• like holding out for the deal when you really want something but dont have the money for full price. (why i always scan the clearance first)

then times like this it doesnt:

• i didnt finish my paper now im up writng it falling asleep at the keyboard, writing jiberish that i have to deleate and making references to the UN and sharing toys when i am suppose to summarize the ethical standards for Human services workers.

i think i need to nap and just wake up early to finish. or take the late paper grade to do it right. 

positive Notes...

Looking back i have been very negitive and bitchy, and while i reserve my right to be so, today i wanted to be more positive.

Positive's:

1. my family, even when they stress me out their smiles light my day
2. our animals... the cats, the dogs, the strays they all send love and attention to you when you need it. 
3. Balian is going potty at "School/daycare" at this rate maybe we can be in underware by Christmas. 
4. I go back to school tuesday *time at home is great but i miss being around grown-ups, plus if im at school i have no excuse not to study and do homework.
5. its almost bedtime for the kids.
6. Ellie Mae got fixed so now we dont have to worry about puppies from any of our animals. (not to fix the cats so they dont spray)
7. the presents are wrapped and put away
8. girls night this weekend.
9. chocolate
10. waking up and walking the dogs even though i could just put them in the yard a early morning walk wakes me up and is exercise. (*shh)

DONT underestimate the power of busy work

I know i bake when I'm stressed, i clean when i'm stressed and i craft/paint when im stressed. So how stressed am i when i do all 3 in the same day, in the same 6hr period of time? AND did homework thats not technically due yet.

I would say if you were just a casual observer looking in "pretty darn stressed"!!


I prepped 5 different types of cookie dough to bake and mail to soldiers deployed, made 2 presents for the holidays, cleaned the kitchen and living room (even scrubbed the stove). AND worked ahead in some of my classes.

I have a lot of things going on and i feel overworked and under appreciated. Who ever made it where the person working the "traditional taxable job" got more fanfare then the stay at home mom, student, domestic goddess then they need to step in my shoes.

Not to bitch, ((ok ok to bitch and moan a little)), i HATE that i have to draw the line and sometimes feel like babysitting said "breadwinner". When the balance of chores and duties that involve kids, pets, chores, laundry, and life shift past the 65/35 I get angry and bitchy. I LOVE when its 50/50 heck or when its in my favor completely and 25/75 but that requires me to be in the hospital or just sent home from hospital (post op of course because even sick and ill i still have to do my share at a 50/50 and being admitted i have no choice but to sit back and recover till off doc orders)

But really, Im sure im not the only mom, wife, or person who is master of the home that feels like this. HAS ANYONE ELSE CHECKED ON INSURANCE?? hA,. I found out that my insurance to cover me and the duties i perform on a daily basis are higher then "breadwinner" because I perform muliple tasks on a daily basis requiring more payout to fill the gap that would be left if something happened to me. Maid (cleaner, scrubber, general tidying),Go-for... (as in go for this go for that), Cook, Driver, preschool teacher, butt wiper, poop cleaner, dog walker, ouchie kisser, nurse, crafter, laundress, accountant, recreational adviser, trip planner, photographer, secretary   and thats just to name a few

remember how each mothers day they tally up what a mother would idealy earn in a perfect world for doing all the things she does. and in May 2007 Salary.com released its annual take on what stay-at-home moms would be paid for their work in the business world. The symbolic figure: a whopping $138,646.YES sign me up, I would love it and ODDLY enough I find myself always shopping for the kids and everyone else and feel quilty when i get myself something unless I have "earned it" or mine is broke and non-repairable.

Back to busy work, its like a good cry, it feels better when its done and you have a sense of accomplishment.

And to all those who have family members deployed  or away from you and you are wearing both hats, KOODO's to you, I have been there and done that, and I think it would be easier sometimes because i would know that they are unable to help because they are doing something for the greater good.  Its just when they are next to you and not lifting a finger is what bothers me.

Comfort Food in the wake of nightmares

Comfort Food... just those words can bring forth the memories of good times and situations that turned for the better. IT was my mission today. To make scrapple (AKA Fried Cornmeal Mush), its something my family has made with Thanksgiving leftovers for as long as I can remember. It goes great plain, or with a fried egg.

Last night was a BAD night. Word to the Wise, is someone next to you is having a bad dream/flash back. DONT wake them up. You may think your doing the right thing but then they are just awake fully aware of the memory that was being relived. Sleeping through it is better, at least that way the sub-conscience takes over and makes sure you dont remember as much.

My problem last night, I was having one of those intense NIghtmares and as i was feeling the room shake, the smell, the sounds, starting to relive it... i was awoken to deal with 2 kids who were awake. BY the time i went Momster on them and crawled back in bed i wept till i slept. Its been a day very long day, highlighted by the comfort food i mentioned above.

3 influencing factors, on why this might of happened. 1, forgot my meds yesterday and today (*Took them this evening when i remembered.) 2, hormonal changes. 3, as i call it, its my bad time of the year. (we had more then our fare share of Motar attacks at FOB Summerall, before my unit got to SPEICHER Christmas eve 2005. but even there they ((INsurgents)) liked to zero in on the motorpool and water tower)

I got my scrapple made and it was good, but ive been a walking BITCH... I just feel so broken. I hate that i have to relay on medication to make me even feel normal. and i hate that i feel controlled  like im in a dream and cant shake it. I cant cry  and feel better like i use to. I just want to sleep till its over.  I wish i could sleep till its over. Tonight IM taking yet another pill to sleep hoping tomorrow its over.

Black Friday Only comes once a year and it was nonstop...

This year was the first year, I ever went Black Friday Shopping, I spent $606.00 *(but i also bought those things i needed anyway, like pullups, a potty seat, and a new purse/wallet)**(( My vera wang's strap is cracked and my wallet is loosing money**))  But I saved...by the numbers combined savings 515.50 in store -plus- 60 kohls cash, 10 target gift card, 2 off meijer.making a combined savings of 587.50.. spent 606 - think I did ok?? I know some people saved more but for a newbie I give myself a Thumbs-up. I did get all my shopping done, from this point on if I forgot a gift or want to give more, WE Are MAKING it!


While shopping I realized people dont spend as much time with there kids as others. Some parents were mumbeling that they couldnt buy this or that toy because it ment they would have to sit there and participate (boardgame), when a video game just "shuts them up".


Which brings me to my 2nd point, Daycare/Preschool. I use to hate the idea, nope not my kids, waste of money... Till I needed them to Once i started school again we had to find a school for the kids to go 3 days a week. And i use to RUSH to pick them up. Till they got mad at me for not letting them finish nap time or have the afternoon snack. Joss has informed me that she and Balian want to be dropped off before morning 1st snack, and picked up AFTER, naptime/snacktime. 
     Anyway, the kids are learning more then I would have the Patience to teach them at home. My sanity is better and i Feel Im a better mother. Besides they want to go, and they arent there more then they need to be. Some kids I am now more certain that they NEED to go to socialize and PLAY with kids there own age, because sometimes parents just get overwhelmed.

So back to today "Black Friday" Amos and the kids watched the IronBowl game. War eagle!!?


Joss and I went to the Circle of Lights, with my mom and uncle. It was so nice. When she saw santa arrive it was magic! the joy and innocence in her eyes warmed my heart. 

So now its bedtime, I was awoken from my nap, so Ive technically been up since, 4am.

Family, Fun, Food, Fellowship

He is a very PASSIONATE eater! Today was amazing it had it all, FOOD lots of food, Fun (everyone kids included), and ALL the Family you can cram into a house.

AS today is a day to be thankful, I am. I am Thankful that I am here today with my amazing kids and husband. That we are happy, healthy, and free. That my family is the inclusive, accepting, sometimes crazy bunch we are.

 Balian took a 4hr nap today, Joss went to sleep once we got home. Amos and I even got to escape for 2hours and go watch the movie "UNSTOPPABLE" which is a very good movie.

Good ones are hard to come by

Everyone says so.. at least everyone I talk to. The good ones are hard to come by/find. They use this to talk about cars, friends, men/women, or just things made of quality and last forever.

I will agree, to an extent.

A good friend is worth their weight in gold. Someone to talk to at anytime about anything. As you grow and mature, move, and evolve as a person, some friends come and go through your life. I have only 2 people from age 5-18. That i still call my  BFF friends.

That next chapter of life called College I have 1 BFF that i still talk to today (in fact i was her matron of honor at her wedding this Aug).

Turn the page again and I have my Army Friends. only 1 i still get the occassional Email or facebook status from. 1st duty station, 1 guy (Thomas BFF), and the 3 Roommates i had.

When i PCSed to Ft.Campbell well, I married that BFF  and the other just visits alot when she is in between duty stations :D...

We got to Germany and I made friends with all the neighbors, only 3-4 I would call close friends.

But now we are back in the US, and I'm back in college. I have a few girls I go to lunch with after class, or have a girls night out with. My neighbor across the street and I are wearing paths to each others doors. the Kids love to play with one another and we have a lot in common. And that friend from Germany well she lives a state away but we try to run into one another when we are in the same state. 1 has my phone number and calls/messages me alot :D

Point of all this is, a good friend in hard to come by. I dont know how many others have sat back and considered what qualifies who as a friendly acquaintance, and what makes them BFF. i explained my reasoning to someone a year or so ago and it goes like this. A BFF is someone who will come to you when your in crisis and listen, offer help, but wont judge you on this alone. a Friendly acquaintance is someone who you say HI to, kids come over, but you never bare your soul, never just hang out, and they run away and make excuses when your in crisis.

I wouldnt change who has stayed in my life and who has gone a different path. BUT I still miss one BFF from K-5th grade, I still google her name, and do name searches for her. She is the only one  I wish didnt move away...

Jocelyne has been spending a lot of time looking at the pics we have of friends from Germany and we talk about them, she writes them letters though we have yet to mail them. I tell her about how friends grow and change just like people. 

 I am thankful for the ones that stay, for the ones that were hard to find yet i found them. Friends in the deepest sense of the word.

Racecar NOooooo

Jocelyne flushed on of Balians racecars, his Lighting McQueen to be exact. We were at the Local County Library, and while  I was going to the bathroom they were running a muck. He apprently dropped it in, and Jocelyne flushed it to be mean. He cried and begged his racecar to come back. ( we had to buy a new one, and in boy fashion not 1 but 2, one for each hand)

I got a lot of things today to craft my gifts for the holidays. I still have a few things i need at the store. IM well on my way though.

Ive been looking at USAJOBS again, and I know that I HAVE TO GET MY MSW,  I want a JOb working back overseas so bad and its my ticket.

Mondays are

Monday I didnt blog, (sorry i choose sleep), but they still are this deal breaker in my book, well at least next semester. I had hoped to clump my classes together oon Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday like i had this semester, but instead i have them MOnday, Wednesday and Thursday. I think instead though i will just bite the bullet and we will send the kids to daycare those 4 days instead of 3 so i have time to do my homework, have appts, ect. Which will cost more but I lose my "free money" to pay for school if my grades drop.

Last night my demise was a Ambian (i take on those "Bad days/nights" and the wine i was drinking... granted this was a oblivious mistake once i realized what had happened but those last moments where i was conscience enough to type and form simi-decent thoughs are now embossed in facebook for all the world to read.

So This week is Thanksgiving, and I have a lot to do. Im making the presents to give people. Making a LOT Of cookies to send to deployed troops, sides and a cold salad for the family dinner. Off to make my lists *shopping and to-do* to keep on track. 

Found this to help me

FOR TODAY
Not everyday i Know what i want to write about, today is one of those days (Kinda feeling lazy) so i found this Journal starter to give me a jump start. 
A picture worth sharing.

• Outside my window...is the night, just past about 5 ft is the back of the garage where the dogs sleep
• I am thinking...why wont Joss go to bed at a decent hour.
• I am thankful for...my kitchen aid mixer
  
• From the kitchen... i can still smell baked peanut butter cookies
  
• I am wearing...pj
  
• I am creating...a list of things i need to do this week.
  
• I am going...crazy sharing 1 car
  
• I am reading... An Echo in the Bone: A Novel (Outlander)
• I am hoping... pass this semester with a 3.25 GPA
• I am hearing... the sound of my neighbors across the street hammer on the remodeling they are doing.
• Around the house... the dishes need washed, laundry needs to be sorted and in general a pick up is called for.
• One of my favorite things...is to take pictures
• A few plans for the rest of the week: make cookies to send to soldiers that are deployed, Family Thanksgiving, and try to go shopping

Under my skin. . .

Nothing gets under my skin more then ignorance. Ignorance of the big issues especially! Just because we live in the US doesnt mean that religious freedom only applies to you, and you must convert the masses. AND the mass generalization of socialism, conunimism, as well as even Liberals is applaing. Really peps who taught you History? More importantly remember that for the longest time History was written by the "winners" of the conflict who wipes out the "loosers" or forced them to convert their culture to fit in the new "normal".

I have a few bumper stickers on my car that I take a lot of pride in. peacemonger is the site that has them, and i really love them. They have the kind of thing that makes you sit, stare, and question. Check them out.

  I agree with this Author, we have a lot more in common then you first think. (Thats also something I am reminded of daily in my Classes) http://factoidz.com/the-belief-net-religion-quiz-what-do-you-believe/

So what brings this on?? A facebook status that got someone reading a lot Into it. As far as WE (hubby and I) had to bust out the constitution to help defend ourselves.

Rants and Raves (*But not all in that order*)

RAVE: The Indianapolis Childrens Museum. I Have always.... ALWAYS .. loved going there, and with kids and a 2yr membership I can go as much as I want. Their Dino exhibit is amazing!

Rant:( Those who turn every facebook status or post into a Religious debate/discussion where they are "merely stating fact" but seem to be talking down to everyone who doesn't agree with them.

Rave: My camera, Thank you again Moose.

Rant: Formula Companies. Really?? Woman are unable to properly feed our babies. And here i was thinking as Mammals we could Lactate and continue on as a species like we have since the cavemen. GRRRRRrrrr  I Love what this mama has to say.
http://9davids.blogspot.com/2010/11/nurse-ins-are-for-everyone.html

Rave: Imagination Play!!!!   Who cares if its not real, Pretending ROCKS!

Rant: Helicopter Parents (this is a parent who is crammed up their childs butt and wont let them fall without making a ordeal out of it) Really?? you child doesnt know how to get up if they fall and your not there, way to teach life skills.

Rave: Finding that present you child wrote to santa for 2 months ago.. (the only thing they want)

over acheiver... maybe a little.

I took this on the way to class today.

I was giving a presentation on the career topic " Social Workers in the Military/Veteran Setting", it was a Powerpoint but i DID NOT read slide after slide, instead I told my class we are in college they can read, im just there to give more information. I had 2 small videos in my powerpoint, I brought books, printouts, handouts, a old ACS phonebook, pictures of the veterans day parade, as well as me and my dad. I talked, a lot, in fact i went over the time requirement, but no one had any questions, the teacher didnt interrupt me at all, like she had ever person before me. >.. THIS made me worried.. So at the end of class I asked, "?Did i do ok?" she assured me i was fine, then my grade posted this evening. 100/100 Perfect score. IM glad because I need a good GPA.  (Granted knowing that the teachers father was a WW2 vet was bonas)

I think i like my HUM 102 class more and more just beacuse we get to roleplay. and not to brag, IM GOOD.. like everyone compliments me on sounding/acting like a "real" therapist. But also my knack I have for getting into some crazy "client" characters that make the "helper" really think about what approch they are doing. I learn from it as well, but i do have fun.

I think Jocelyne and Balian are the cool kids at daycare... they are learning about Pilgrams and Indians (Balian made me this super cute pasta necklace), so i bring the kids TeePee to the school today for them to play with. IT was a huge success. Kids were wanting to come over for a playdate just to play with it. I was even called the Cool Mom. Next week they "perform" the 1st thanksgiving and I go take pictures.

Testing , Testing, 1..2..3...

IS this thing on?? This week has been a lot of tests, each of my classes has a Quiz/Test this week as well as I give my career presentation tomorrow. At this point in the week I am just glad that its Wednesday!

Whelmed is a good way to put it, not Over, not under, just whelmed. I have a lot of things going on and managing them as well as those unplanned for things is keeping me plenty busy.

Im still pondering the conversion I had with the homeless man yesterday. I was driving home from my class & test this morning when i acknowledged my UN-quenched desire to travel. I dont mean the vacation travel. I mean a walk-about. (I love this term, i stole it from the movie Australia where they are talking about the coming of age of youth and the journey they take).
 I still want to just pack up and go... with no where special in mind, just to journey till I find the reason to go home. Not all who journey are lost.

I also acknowledged that while loosing the creature comforts that I have gotten use to, I am feeling burdened by them and I want to declutter them from my life. I do not want these things to define me more then memories others keep of me. I need to orangainz again, yet i dont know where to start.

Best place to find me today when I am all deep though cant focus on studying.. my elliptical. I try to use it everyday, some more then others, some days i take a walk or bike ride instead, and even more times then that I choose to relax and sleep. But today i was on for a while, i reset the timer so i dont know exact but i do know my legs hurt, and my butt is sore. It felt good to channel this, becasue i think i am even confusing myself trying to write it down.

The most thankful thing i am thankful off... My Family, as long as i have them i could have nothing else and my heart would be full.

Homeless Hitch-hiker.

Today before my HUMS 102 class I was on my way to Indy after eating lunch with Amos, we just had a quick bite at the local McDonalds at Mt.Comfort Rd. I was on the on ramp when i slowed to see a man looking for a ride. There was something about his eyes that had me stop, they spoke to me of humanity. HIs name was Mike, he is 54yrs old and a Widower. He had a green army duffle bag he got at a surplus store to carry his worldly belongings, and he wore a brown duck cloth carhart jacket, jeans, and winter boots. He didnt smell but i wasnt worried about that.

We spoke about why he is homeless and how long he has been like that. (3yrs currently, but as a 6th grade dropout, with a GED, the only time he claims to have had a "HOME" was when he was married for 14yrs. His wife died in 1995 of cancer of the nervous system. Since then he has tried to be 'tied down' but he just cant.

He has had his belongings stolen a few times, and had to start over even more then that, but he says being homeless has freed him. He was the most though provoking person i have talked to in a while. We talked about how people have stopped nurturing their children in persuit of things, when kids need love and attention more then toys. We talked about the election, health care bill, Veterans, my choice of career field, homelessness, drugs (he avoids drugs and alocohol), "service organizations" like soup kitchens (he doesnt go for handouts), weapons, (he doesnt carry or condone violence), war (his nephew served and he is proud of his vets).

The most important was his views on materialistic things. He only carries when he needs, and gives what he can to others worse off then him.

He has traveled coast to coast 4 times, and makes his rounds of Indiana once a year depending on the season/weather.

His smile was sincear, coffee & nicotine stained teeth grinning back to me. He even offfered me some money for the ride. I declined Thanking HIM for helping me ponder things i was already dealing with.

My point is, yes i know that picking up people can be dangerous, but i didnt have my kids with, and my spirit was calmed by him. He was possibly my angel in disguise. I could of easily drove past even not stop or drive off when he started to walk to me. But i trusted myself that my judge of character and for that I am rewarded by this conversation.

Impress the dead.

I have vivid dreams; sometimes  they are of what happened in Iraq those are the bad kind, but sometimes I meet up with my stepdad. He died the day before my 15th birthday so it seems we are linked for the rest of my life. Im Ok with that. Because In my dreams we can talk, or cook, or just reflect. I think he is my spiritual guide in the loose definition of the term. Because when i have a dream, with him in it he and I cooking, i can wake up and make a meal i would of never dreamed of making before. some of the best mexican ever, and then as quickly as i knew how to make something i just Forget....

Growing up, he demanded a clean and tidy house, biggest to littlest, shortest to tallest, in alphabetical order, or color sequence. A real pain in the ass when your a kid. HE also demanded we do well in school, and in life.

Lately I've let a lot go, i will wash the laundry but not sort and put it away, heck we even hired a neighbor to help me keep the house clean once a week since im so overwhelmed with school and i want to keep my GPA up. Today, i channeled him. I cleaned my house like i havent in a while. Even matched SOCKS!!!

With only 4 more weeks of school (not counting "fall break") I guess im still trying to impress him with my ability to juggle everything. I'm ok with that, he was a great role model even if sometimes it was more on what NOT to do with life. Overall im sure he would be proud of me, even if i didnt go to school to be a doctor.

Need a time-out!!! Family Time.

Today I was having a MOMster moment, and just needed a break. It was the first time in 4 months that Amos has had a day off so we went to the Children's Museum.

 

Balian of course loved being at the trains, in fact he didnt even care about the dinosaurs if there were trains around. 

Jocelyne loved making towers in the science center with Amos.

And I, well I never got to runaway and have some time alone, at least till we got home and I took the comforters to the laundromat to do 2 big loads of blankets. I worked on my homework and edited pics.

a few pictures in...

What a wonderful morning and afternoon. It may be November in Indiana but the sun was out, and even with the wind blowing the leaves it was still a nice 65 deg F. The kids played outside and even the neighbor kids came over to play. I took my camera out to see what i could get playing with the settings and just limiting myself to the yard.

Cant say I didnt have fun. Got a LOT of the kids and dogs playing. Then after Amos went to work (and the kids and I got a nap), the weather turned on us and its been raining since. But thats ok, we made pumpkin pies, played and i kept the kitchen tidy, TRYing to clean up after myself as i cooked.

Crafts. video games, and escape artists.

Sometimes its just fun to play, play like a kid with your kids. Cleaning the house can wait, but they will only be this small and young today. Tomorrow they will be older and a memory will have formed about how your priorities were the day before.

Today the kids and I played. A LOT!!  Out side on the trampoline, we pertended we took a space ship to the moon and were jumping on the moon. *I was the space alien who they scared away with talking loud. * We played in the leaves i piled up raking the front yard. we played with sidewalk chalk. we cut and glued paper. we made blueberry muffins and ate so much batter we only could make 1 small loaf and 1 big muffin. we played and it was fun. after dinner and bath we played hide and seek. tag, and after Balian went to bed, Video games. Jocelyne decided she didnt like our growup video games and till we got her a easy one like dora she would tell me how to play.

So now both kids are asleep, I have gotten little to no housework done, but I had fun. We interacted today as a family. We could talk about how work makes you tired (*why daddy sleeps when everyone else is awake), how work is important just like school. But its how you show love.

Its just plain fun to laugh. And amos and I had a great one in the car on the drive home from errands, we got joss a harmonica as a impulse buy and she was playing it to her hearts content. I asked her to please stop so i could talk to her daddy. "Mommy, but I'm playing Music" she tells me in the most matter of fact tone she can muster. We both laughed till our sides hurt.

Balian helped me find out how Emily (our smaller dog) we getting loose. I barricaded that while he escaped out the open gate to follow me.

Anyway, not a thing "Productive" was done today, but memories were made even if i am the only one to remember them 50yrs from now.

At naptime Jocelyne and i hung the purple birdhouses. she now wants us to make a bird feeder.

Proud to be a Veteran...

Today is a day of Remembrance, Each and everyday from the founding of this country there has been someone willing to put the good of their country, and of others, before their own. In my family I can go down a long list of those who have chosen this path, I have chosen this path, so has my husband. In fact the Army is how we meet.

But this was my 1st Veterans day where I actually felt like a Veteran worthy of those people telling me thanks.

Today the Ivy Tech Student Veterans Association walked in the Indianapolis Veterans Day parade, we gave out pencils, key-chains, and a few shirts. When all thos ran out some of the fellow vets just walked, I started shaking hands of ANYONE who had on military clothing or branch/unit clothing. That is what ment the most for me today, was seeing those faces smile and say your welcome, thanking me for what I have done as well.

It has always been the well meaning Thanks that makes my eyes get teary. Even with my meds i take every day and night for the scars of war i suffer, it still feels like im flirting with the cliff of extreme anxiety and emotion. Going to get the kids from school today and being handed a card all the kids made for my husband and myself got a few silent tears.

I want everyone who has raised their hand and pledge to serve and protect the Constitution of the United Stated Of America to know, I support you!

 Each vet has a differnt story, each vet has faced a seperate trial by fire and has physical scars, emotional scars, or both. After the parade we (the SVA) went to Applebees for the Free Veterans day entree. And we all had a great time just talking about what we did in the military what branch job ect and what we are doing now, even what scars we have from it all. It was group therapy without the bill.

sleep why have you been taken hostage.

Jocelyne didnt go to "school" (daycare) today she was up at 230am this morning vomiting and saying her tummy hurt. She was lazy all day and didn't eat or drink much, when she did eat it came back-up. Both kids now have a appt at the doctors in the AM Thursday. I will go off the docs recommendation on if they go with me to the Parade or back home.

I have 3 weeks left of classes starting next week and 1 week of "fall break", so I have a lot of those BIG assignments coming up due. Yet I think i will have to just stay at school a few days to work of them because i just cant seem to get them done or started at home without multiple interruptions.


We started Potty training Balian, and now he is taking off his own diaper/underware/pullup after he goes or right before, hardest part right now is to get him to sit on the potty. Ideas??

Well after being up with Jocelyne all night and with both kids all morning, i have taken a few catnaps on the couch. I hope they can sleep tonight I need it. 

I tried to be disrespectful...

today in class we had to role-play as the "helper" and as the "client" seems my drama skills are getting better and better. As i was suppose to be rude and ignore my "client" and they took it as positive constructive criticism. then when i was the "helper" everyone who i interacted with felt like i was human and not stuffy and overworked in my actions. really??? im just me.

I also now have Jocelyne in bed next to me sleeping because a lady bug is attacking her. Ive been up for over 15hrs im tired and going to bed now. 

Thankful for...

My kids make it easy on me to be thankful, thankful of every little thing I have got to accustomed to that I now pay it no mind at all. I am shown with their every action how its the little things that make it really worth while.Sometimes like the saying goes you just have to slow down and STOP to Smell the roses.

In the case of Balian, stop for water, trains, bugs, cars, candy, or pets. (Those of course in no particular order)

For Jocelyne you need to stop for the "I Like You", "I LoVe yOu!", candy, pets, things that fly/drive/run/swim, or jokes.

Either way both of my kids amaze me with what they pick up from me and what they manifest on their own.
    My point is.... kids notice, they dont take everything forgranted, and I'm just really thankful for that because it keeps me on my toes, and it makes me appriciate all the small things i use to.

Being a mom has done more for shaping who I am and who I want to be more then any other life event i can think of. For that Im thankful.

Each Smile, hugs, and even each tear, I'm thankful to just watch them grow, learn, explore, To be....

Weekend- wrap-up.

Yes i choose sleep over blogging, (shh dont tell my HUMS 105 teacher), but here is a rundown of my weekend.

Saturday, I had plans to go to CUPPS, but Amos needed the car to go to Drill instead so I was going to take the borrowed truck which had a battery and which would not stay started for me. So instead when Amos got home we went out on a date to dinner and to a friends birthday party. Had fun sang karaoke. Came home went to bed after setting a few clocks back.

Sunday at 3(original time or 4 adjusted time), Balian wakes up, 30 mins later Jocelyne wakes up, I was up. We made pancakes and planned the day the day, we would go to the Zoo, and I would learn how to use my new camera Amos bought me. (Nikon P100)
 
The kids and i dropped him off at work then went home for much needed naps. Everyone seems to have woken up 2hrs later and we got dressed for the Zoo. We tried to make in time to eat lunch with him first but that didnt happen, McDonalds it was.

Everyone had a great time at the zoo, we went home when the kids started to ask to sit down a lot and got grumpy. They fell asleep almost instantly in the car. We were very early but we were going to wait on Amos, Jocelyne had to go potty so she woke up Balian and we went to the PX. Then we went to the commissary and got odds and ends shopping.

We were still early, so we waited and waited and waited. I began to truly hate daylight savings time. ``````````````it was 9/10 till everyone went to bed.

making a list...checking it over and over and over and over....

Friday how i love thee...
Today buddy did we all sleep in late, granted everyone stayed up late last night so it is only natural. But it totally threw a wrench in my day, I had planned on going into Indy to take the kids to the Childrens Museume in the AM so Amos could take the car to work this afternoon, and I could be at home picking up and cleaning.

Well the kids both still wanted to go see Dinosaurs, and amos didn't get the car as planned. In retrospect, even with a LATE start and Lunch for Breakfast, ice cream lunch for dinner, and a late dinner/supper. The kids are now in bed, the dogs are in (it snowed earlier this evening) and i got some picking up done and cleaning accomplished.

I even ventured out into the garage and went through boxs that we still have yet to officially unpack from our move, looking for winter coats, gloves, hats, scarves, and Class A's. All of which I did find while it was snowing outside.

Im putting together a list of Military members deployed to take to the daycare since they want to send a care package to deployed troops. Lots of people want to give me addys but so far I only have 4.

In the mean time, I'm making my to do list for Saturday, sunday and the next week, trying my best to manage my time and get the most out of my day.

not dull... not here at least.

Today is my "long day" for classes (Tuesday i have a afternoon and a night class), next semester i will have 3 long days so i guess this one just mentally prepares me. Dropping off the kids was a mixed bag this morning. Balian didn't want to get out of bed but was so excited to go in, Jocelyne wanted to go into but didn't want me to leave. I couldn't be late AGAIN to this class, the past 2 weeks i have been over 15 mins late and I didn't want to write a paper as compensation like it states in the syllabus.

Seems my Hums 102 teacher is getting more stressed as the term goes on, she has yet to find a technique to find a way to engage the entire class on the lesson/discussion. She keeps wanting me to print out my homework to turn in but only after i email it like the syllabus says you can. (*What happened to trying to save trees?)

After unlocking Amos's truck, getting the kids, swinging by the store for milk, and heading home I witnessed a truck fishtail and hit a school bus of kids.  NO ONE WAS HURT!!!! but this older handicapped mans truck just fishtailed from his turn and bumped the school bus no damage to either vehicle. I waited around to see if the Police needed my statement before heading home.

I had promised the kids that we would go into the local BK so they could play in the indoor playground since its drizzely and cold. That was fun the whole 1.5 hrs.  Now we are home and i have a tent made of bedsheets in the living room.

The kids and i are about to make cookies for my mom (GMA pink) to take into work. Then I will work on papers (Im trying to keep working ahead), and bed.

After being home for less then a hour, Jocelyne and I make peanut butter cookies with a peanut butter, cream cheese topping.

Jocelyne then decides to wash the dishes so i have more time to play.

I give Balian a bath then let the dogs in to wash them in the bath water before I drain the tub. Balian goes to bed, Jocelyne and I play candy land as well as shoots and ladders.

Whats DULL?

Random smiles

Sometimes its true you really must stop and smell the roses, appreciating the little things so the "big picture" isnt as dark and ominous. Some days its those little smiles and unplanned giggles that get us through the day where we look back and smile again in memory.

For example, today my class was canceled so I ran errands lots and lots of errands. Getting pet food, printer paper, dropping off donations of children's clothes, and getting hours for next week at the soup kitchen. All this AFTER my doc appts this afternoon at the VA. At one of these appts i decide to decorate the drab and boring office with some pics i took from the kids latest field trip. That went well, in fact, it went awesome! it was if the room was painted for those photos and it gave a new depth and subtext to the discussion.


On my way home I made the decision i wanted ice cream. So i got some. after getting the kids from school (we call it that but its daycare), we arrive home and our daughter goes to the freezer gets out the ice cream, and proceeds to eat it from the container. WHY?? well she is happy and ice cream makes her happy so she is now super happy. Valid reasoning = Smile

Our son loves trains, he will stay up at night to play with them, and go to bed late, sleep with them, and talk about them. He decided today to drive his train across my face and tell me what he crossed. "mommy eyes, mommy nose, mommy other eye, mommy  cheek...." He is only 2 and it made me SMILE.

My children are the root cause of 75% of my smiles daily and collectively. They are the reason i view the world as i do, a shift of how i had before.

I love them more then the sum of my existence.