My last 3 days of 2010 was spent in the bathroom or laying on the couch. It turns out I had food poisoning and I never want it again. Not only will I be more careful of where and what I eat, I also have to watch about peoples "well" water they have at their homes. There were a few times I was begging to go to the ER, only I couldnt get more then a 30 sec dash from the bathroom, so I stayed here.
Amos's Mom was more then kind, she checked up on me and gave me meds to break my fever, she offered to make me something to eat or go to the store to get me meds if she didnt have want I wanted to take. She even helped Amos clean up after my "Exorcist" style vomit dash down the hall. I have a deeper love for my MIL now. The days leading up to this with me just nausated and with a fever, she would tell me "go lay down, I can take care of the kids"... Today she did for most of the morning.
My energy has been slow to return this evening. To much movement makes me nauseated. . And my lack of eating and even my forcing to take in liquids hasn't been enough. I have flirted with dehydration and Still am trying to drink poweraid, water and the occasional swig of pickle juice to boost my electrolytes.
We drive back home on New Years day. I cant wait.. I miss my own bed, my family, our pets. . . Not looking forward to the drive or packing the car.
As for new years resolutions, I dont have any.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Birmingham's McWane Center
Seems fitting that they had only dinosaurs they found in Alabama at this Science Center.
I admit I am simi-jealous that all they have seem to find in Indiana is a Mammoth. (though since I do love my elephants and what they were, it is why I am only Kinda/Simi)...
It was my Mother-In-Laws idea to go, she thought the kids would have fun. They did, we all did. Though, I do still love my Indianapolis Childrens museum. This had a lot of small things to offer that when the kids get older will be a lot more fun.
We tried to see the floors in order but, we adults quickly learned that the kids wanted Dinosaurs, and they wanted them NOW.
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| How cool is this, showing sealife. |
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| As it turns out I am willing to admit that maybe Balian gets his love of trains from me, as mush as Amos. |
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| This is a Gris Mill. | They have a few around here in this are. The detail of this miniature is picture perfect. |
I totally think this fish was posing for me, Balian was looking for Nemo.. he was sadly disappointed when he did not find him.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
not immune
seems im getting sick now. at least the chills and lack of desire to eat.
I have read 2 books and will start the 3rd in the morning. Bored out of my mind here, and not feeling good isnt helping. At least Balian is feeling better.
I have read 2 books and will start the 3rd in the morning. Bored out of my mind here, and not feeling good isnt helping. At least Balian is feeling better.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Illness far from home...
Before we took this trip to Alabama, Jocelyne and Amos both had a 24/36hr stomach bugs... I have yet to show signs or symptoms of this (maybe because I am so busy cleaning up after everyone else being sick, I wash my hands and am UBER careful of the germs that could transfer).. 2 days before our trip no one from our family showed any signs of being sick.
Then we get on the road...Somewhere close to the Tennessee-Alabama state line Balian throws up. He also is feeling a bit hot so we clean him, up and strip him down to a diaper. Where he stops fussing and slept the rest of the way.
The day before Christmas (the day we arrived) he didnt eat much, but drank lots of water. No extreme fever maybe a bit warmer then normal but nothing to worry about. He has 1 explosive diarrhea diaper.
Christmas day he wakes me up with a fever. Vomits all over Amos, sleeps a LOT, doesnt eat a lot but eats, drinks lots of fluids, gets Tylenol for his fever. Fever breaks, that evening. Over all besides his long naps (maybe from waking up at 5am) he was laughing and playing like normal.
Day after Christmas, no/slight fever returns.. Vomits over me this evening. And after he goes to bed, we have to go in and change the sheets/changes him for his diarrhea has returned.He has played and acted normal all day.
I hate that we are 8-12hrs from home and he is sick (this depending on driving time)... All i Brought with me in tynolol...I havent found anything at Winn-Dixie, or Walmart to treat him with that I think or know will work.
If we were at home, I would be making him tea, warm baths, let him go naked and wrap him in blankets...I have my own mini-pharmacopia with everything from tea, homeopathic remedies, bath salts with essencial oils, to over the counter meds for his age group to adults. I am Doctor Mom.
Take him to the doctor... I dont even know if we should take him to the doc. IS this just a bug? I dont feel like its serious, I feel like I am just out of my element so I am worrying more then normal.
Tonight I keep vigial, and with Amos we make the decision in the morning. I hope its nothing. Yet with your children you never want to be to careful.
Then we get on the road...Somewhere close to the Tennessee-Alabama state line Balian throws up. He also is feeling a bit hot so we clean him, up and strip him down to a diaper. Where he stops fussing and slept the rest of the way.
The day before Christmas (the day we arrived) he didnt eat much, but drank lots of water. No extreme fever maybe a bit warmer then normal but nothing to worry about. He has 1 explosive diarrhea diaper.
Christmas day he wakes me up with a fever. Vomits all over Amos, sleeps a LOT, doesnt eat a lot but eats, drinks lots of fluids, gets Tylenol for his fever. Fever breaks, that evening. Over all besides his long naps (maybe from waking up at 5am) he was laughing and playing like normal.
Day after Christmas, no/slight fever returns.. Vomits over me this evening. And after he goes to bed, we have to go in and change the sheets/changes him for his diarrhea has returned.He has played and acted normal all day.
I hate that we are 8-12hrs from home and he is sick (this depending on driving time)... All i Brought with me in tynolol...I havent found anything at Winn-Dixie, or Walmart to treat him with that I think or know will work.
If we were at home, I would be making him tea, warm baths, let him go naked and wrap him in blankets...I have my own mini-pharmacopia with everything from tea, homeopathic remedies, bath salts with essencial oils, to over the counter meds for his age group to adults. I am Doctor Mom.
Take him to the doctor... I dont even know if we should take him to the doc. IS this just a bug? I dont feel like its serious, I feel like I am just out of my element so I am worrying more then normal.
Tonight I keep vigial, and with Amos we make the decision in the morning. I hope its nothing. Yet with your children you never want to be to careful.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Christmas Eve...Christmas Day
And all through the house,
Balian was roaring,
the cats were chasing a mouse.
Jocelyne was so excited to see Santa she couldnt sleep...
the adults were enjoying some wine waiting for no more Children's peeps
The tree was twinkling Snow was starting to fall..once the house was quite it was quickly awoken by Childrens squeals.
Santa Had arrived, and gifts did he bring. For the very good kids who went early to sleep.
IT was a long but lazy day, full of giggle and playing with new toys.
Naps to be had and a DR Who marathon.
Everyone relaxed, and enjoyed each others company.
No big dinner was made, no need for it was found. Happiness came and settled in till late.
The snow kept falling and sticking to be found in morning.
The day after Christmas, Boxing day in some countries.
Will be spent with as much calm and peaceful togetherness that makes a Holiday a holiday.
Friday, December 24, 2010
LONG Drive
the 23rd was the day we drove to 'Bama... but not to spend lots of time going back and forth, I took the kids a visiting... We visited my Bro and SIL, my soon to be Cousin-In-law and her kids.. at their place we made sugar cookies...
But once the clock struck 11pm, we started the drive... we only stopped twice, for gas and to go to the bathroom. It was suppose to be a 10.5hr drive but we did it in 8hrs. Kids slept most of the way but not all. Amos and I stayed up and I kept him awake with talking about things, as well as playing "Whos that band" with the IPOD on shuffle.
So Bama, nice to see you, I like my snow but this will be my first snowbird Christmas.
But once the clock struck 11pm, we started the drive... we only stopped twice, for gas and to go to the bathroom. It was suppose to be a 10.5hr drive but we did it in 8hrs. Kids slept most of the way but not all. Amos and I stayed up and I kept him awake with talking about things, as well as playing "Whos that band" with the IPOD on shuffle.
So Bama, nice to see you, I like my snow but this will be my first snowbird Christmas.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Reflections...
I awoke this morning with the most vivid dream...
In it i was given a 2nd chance (for lack of a better way to put it), Every relationship I have had from the time i was 13 till now was there (OK the guy was there) Crushes included... and I was able to choose again.. ALMOST ALL of these guys didnt get a second glance, I am embarrassed I was so invested in the.ALL and all, it was a win Win, WIN situation for Amos.. I awoke so happy and of course I told him . that the universe let me know Im on the right track. I still want him, I still pick him. :D
This got me thinking of a lot of things... Would I ever take a Do-over? I have always tried to live a life of no regret. . . I even have a motto.. or life quote since College back in 2001 to keep my eye on the prize.
In it i was given a 2nd chance (for lack of a better way to put it), Every relationship I have had from the time i was 13 till now was there (OK the guy was there) Crushes included... and I was able to choose again.. ALMOST ALL of these guys didnt get a second glance, I am embarrassed I was so invested in the.ALL and all, it was a win Win, WIN situation for Amos.. I awoke so happy and of course I told him . that the universe let me know Im on the right track. I still want him, I still pick him. :D
This got me thinking of a lot of things... Would I ever take a Do-over? I have always tried to live a life of no regret. . . I even have a motto.. or life quote since College back in 2001 to keep my eye on the prize.
Destiny is not a matter of Chance, its a matter of Choice, its not a thing to be waited for, Its a thing to be Achieved.
-*William Jennings Bryan
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Solstice blessings, A full moon/luner eclipse, Yule
YULE
Solstice blessings to you all, Today is the First day of Winter, from this day forward the days will be longer the Sun is reborn.
What makes today special was at the early AM there was a full Luner Eclipse, this triquetra of events happened 300+ years ago. (this depending on what source you look at).
Today this holiday aside, was like any other...
Jocelyne who had a high fever of 103.2 with loss of appitite as well vomiting and not wanting to do Anything.. yesterday... today, its amos... i just hope this doesnt get a Balian or myself.
I start packing for our trip to alabama tomorrow. I cleaned out the car
today.
Balian isnt asking for Naps or bedtime but he does ask for "no awake".. and will do what you need for a nap/bed.
Both kids loved opening their presents today. I got a bread maker which didnt start making the bread till 9pm this evening apparently i had the delay start timer on. So pumpkin bread will be ready for us in the morning.
Solstice blessings to you all, Today is the First day of Winter, from this day forward the days will be longer the Sun is reborn.
What makes today special was at the early AM there was a full Luner Eclipse, this triquetra of events happened 300+ years ago. (this depending on what source you look at).
Today this holiday aside, was like any other...
Jocelyne who had a high fever of 103.2 with loss of appitite as well vomiting and not wanting to do Anything.. yesterday... today, its amos... i just hope this doesnt get a Balian or myself.
I start packing for our trip to alabama tomorrow. I cleaned out the car
today.
Balian isnt asking for Naps or bedtime but he does ask for "no awake".. and will do what you need for a nap/bed.
Both kids loved opening their presents today. I got a bread maker which didnt start making the bread till 9pm this evening apparently i had the delay start timer on. So pumpkin bread will be ready for us in the morning.
Monday, December 20, 2010
It pisses me off...
If accepted [S 510] would preclude the public’s right to grow, own, trade, transport, share, feed and eat each and every food that nature makes.
Now i try to stay off the soapbox, but this recently passed and is now back at the house, before its sent to the president to sign or veto.
what it first said..
it is still going to be debated... in the next year.
Anyway, sure it looks ok, but do you or i have the $600 to get a permit to sell my food i grow in my garden to others. There is NO clause for those who sell less then a set amount from their own garden. Just a set amount to get a permit to see.
Think about what this will do those who have gardens and supplement their income with selling their food at farmers markets.
SB-510-and-your-right-to-grow-your-own-food
Now i try to stay off the soapbox, but this recently passed and is now back at the house, before its sent to the president to sign or veto.
what it first said..
it is still going to be debated... in the next year.
Anyway, sure it looks ok, but do you or i have the $600 to get a permit to sell my food i grow in my garden to others. There is NO clause for those who sell less then a set amount from their own garden. Just a set amount to get a permit to see.
Think about what this will do those who have gardens and supplement their income with selling their food at farmers markets.
SB-510-and-your-right-to-grow-your-own-food
Sunday, December 19, 2010
late nights and lazy days
With Balian up for 3hrs last night, and Jocelyne waking up for the day shortly after I got little to no sleep... And Im ok with that, that is after all why they made caffeine.
As a family we have done little more today then bum around in sweatpants and watch netflix or kids movies. I did make some no bake cookies but thats because i was craving chocolate like crazy.
Amos made both lunch and dinner today. A welcome break from trying to figure out what to cook...
I guess the only thing that got us out of the house was I took the kids down to the town "christmas village" where someone was dressed up like mr and mrs claus, and they gave bags full of toys and candy to the kids. They also had lights up and I know my kids enjoyed it.. till they saw santa. This santa, they didnt like so much.
As a family we have done little more today then bum around in sweatpants and watch netflix or kids movies. I did make some no bake cookies but thats because i was craving chocolate like crazy.
Amos made both lunch and dinner today. A welcome break from trying to figure out what to cook...
I guess the only thing that got us out of the house was I took the kids down to the town "christmas village" where someone was dressed up like mr and mrs claus, and they gave bags full of toys and candy to the kids. They also had lights up and I know my kids enjoyed it.. till they saw santa. This santa, they didnt like so much.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
This afternoon I truely did...
It was this afternoon before i truely allowed myself to relax, and relax i did, i took a 2hr nap and it felt good.!!. Jocelyne was besides me in bed watching "Care Bears" and "Strawberry Shortcake" off netflix, Balian was in his room in bed napping..
I took a lot of pictures at the "holiday" party for the 2's and 3's... (not a lot of Games or things to really take pictures off, just the kids playing and being read a special book and watching Thomas the Train all together. But i do love taking all those kids pictures. I am the Parent Paparazzi, each time i take a picture of a child they feel so important. :D
So the dogs got out and I recieved a phone call telling me these boys found them. I wish i had some cash to give them as a reward for bringing them home. Glad people are also teaching their kids manners.
i have started the list of things to pack and take down to alabama. this time next week we will be on the road, so the packing/cleaning begins now.
Well i am rereading the children of the earth series. "Clan of the Cave Bear" I read them when i was pregnant with Balian so lets see if i am affected as much now without the crazy pregnancy hormones rushing about.
I took a lot of pictures at the "holiday" party for the 2's and 3's... (not a lot of Games or things to really take pictures off, just the kids playing and being read a special book and watching Thomas the Train all together. But i do love taking all those kids pictures. I am the Parent Paparazzi, each time i take a picture of a child they feel so important. :D
So the dogs got out and I recieved a phone call telling me these boys found them. I wish i had some cash to give them as a reward for bringing them home. Glad people are also teaching their kids manners.
i have started the list of things to pack and take down to alabama. this time next week we will be on the road, so the packing/cleaning begins now.
Well i am rereading the children of the earth series. "Clan of the Cave Bear" I read them when i was pregnant with Balian so lets see if i am affected as much now without the crazy pregnancy hormones rushing about.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
lets talk about Sleep.. Studing and Silence
Finals week... oh to be in college again.. so close to an associates degree, not quite to a bachelors..taking it 1 paper and 1 test at a time. Today, I DID NOT study.. i cant, my brain is mush as it is.
Instead i chilled at home this afternoon, and fixed my vacuum. I took it apart (as in screws, the base into 4 seperate pieces.)
I have a busy day tomorrow as well.. from 10-noon is the 3-4-5's Holiday party. Im taking pictures of that... and then my final in Hums 102. *i will also swing by the book store to get the Abnormal psych book i need for next term and sell back/return my books from this term i will never look at again. As well as go to the store for milk we are under half a gallon.... and other food.
Instead i chilled at home this afternoon, and fixed my vacuum. I took it apart (as in screws, the base into 4 seperate pieces.)
- I found the things clogging it up..
- 1 pair of princess panties,
- 1 red sock
- 3 candy wrappers...
I have a busy day tomorrow as well.. from 10-noon is the 3-4-5's Holiday party. Im taking pictures of that... and then my final in Hums 102. *i will also swing by the book store to get the Abnormal psych book i need for next term and sell back/return my books from this term i will never look at again. As well as go to the store for milk we are under half a gallon.... and other food.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
almost 24hrs later..
Finally, the papers are done and turned in, the video presentation went well, and I took my Computers 101 final. Now i have 1 more final before i am free for 3 weeks till next semester.
Things i didnt mention last night due to exhaustion... i found a mouse nest in jocelynes closet, it had babies (pink naked babies) and freaked.. i put the cats in her room and didnt let them out till they ate the babies. :( i feel bad but i just couldnt have them living in my house. EWWW
I charged all my books for next semester to financial aid. they didnt have my Abnormal Psych so i have to go back for that. 500$ for books, (plus 200$ for the photoshop i bought).
Santa came to the daycare today, and it was so cool... Jocelyne, made the observation on the drive home tonight that she thinks, (i say thinks now because after we got home and i asked for further clairfication she says i think so)...
** she thinks that Santa is her papa hawk, and if papa hawk is santa and santa is papa hawk, her papa hawk.... *(( which my dad did go to the daycare dressed as santa today))*
anyway, im ready for this week to be over so i can sleep in and relax.
Things i didnt mention last night due to exhaustion... i found a mouse nest in jocelynes closet, it had babies (pink naked babies) and freaked.. i put the cats in her room and didnt let them out till they ate the babies. :( i feel bad but i just couldnt have them living in my house. EWWW
I charged all my books for next semester to financial aid. they didnt have my Abnormal Psych so i have to go back for that. 500$ for books, (plus 200$ for the photoshop i bought).
Santa came to the daycare today, and it was so cool... Jocelyne, made the observation on the drive home tonight that she thinks, (i say thinks now because after we got home and i asked for further clairfication she says i think so)...
** she thinks that Santa is her papa hawk, and if papa hawk is santa and santa is papa hawk, her papa hawk.... *(( which my dad did go to the daycare dressed as santa today))*
anyway, im ready for this week to be over so i can sleep in and relax.
xtra stressful...
Facepalm.. i cant believe that i miss read my homework and wrote 2-3 pages instead of 4-5. correcting that mistake took a bit more time then i had. but i have so much going on tomorrow.
im going to bed. i treated myself to a vodka cranberry for surviving the day and for not goin mushy brain in the process.
im going to bed. i treated myself to a vodka cranberry for surviving the day and for not goin mushy brain in the process.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Like to explain yourself?
It is very likely that if i had just applied myself when i first found out about my video assignment for my HUMS 102 class, that I would not of worried about not getting it done this weekend. It is now done of course, all 17 APA typed 12 font double spaced. (AGHH) and 21:43 video is done. I did end up using the interview i did with my mom who was suppose to pretend and use a "fake" subject but instead talked about real world issues.
That all aside, its done and i just have my smaller paper to write for the same class due in 2 days.
My Bro and my SIL with munchkin came to visit us and we all went to a late lunch. We ate at the Anderson Olive Garden and our service was amazing. oh the food was good to. Then we all went to Kohls and I walked around the store and showed Amos everything i wanted for the holidays. after balian had a meltdown I took him to the car and waited. Seems amos knew how to use the coupons as well and saved over $315. WOOHOO cant wait to see what he picked out.
That all aside, its done and i just have my smaller paper to write for the same class due in 2 days.
My Bro and my SIL with munchkin came to visit us and we all went to a late lunch. We ate at the Anderson Olive Garden and our service was amazing. oh the food was good to. Then we all went to Kohls and I walked around the store and showed Amos everything i wanted for the holidays. after balian had a meltdown I took him to the car and waited. Seems amos knew how to use the coupons as well and saved over $315. WOOHOO cant wait to see what he picked out.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Zonk...
For those who have never heard this.. its a word i picked up when i was in the army. If said during PT, you would quickly hide and run away from the person leading the exercise.. IF you were our of eyesight or hide well enough you wouldnt have to..
so thats how my day has been.. i wish i was Zonked so i could go to bed and press restart.
maybe its the rainly cold weather... (i would rather have snow, i like snow hate ice)... maybe its the fact i gave the dogs 2 baths each JUST Today.. (*i put them out to go to the bathroom and they come back muddy)
... maybe it has to do with transcribing a interview, which i redid today because i was sick and tired of typing racecar, vroom, choo-choo and only being 5 mins in with 25 to go.
who knows.. but what i do know, is that tomorrow will be better. because Tomorrow amos and Jocelyne go shopping to buy MY presents.
speaking of presents.. jocelyne got a reply from a letter she wrote to santa at the indy circle of lights. saying that santa will be bringing her her yellow ducky and putting it under her tree. . . . Poor Joss is distraught that we dont have a tree up and santa wont bring her a present since he wont know where to put it.
as a time killer today, we made banana muffins and painted more presents.
Thanks for reading that is all.
so thats how my day has been.. i wish i was Zonked so i could go to bed and press restart.
maybe its the rainly cold weather... (i would rather have snow, i like snow hate ice)... maybe its the fact i gave the dogs 2 baths each JUST Today.. (*i put them out to go to the bathroom and they come back muddy)
... maybe it has to do with transcribing a interview, which i redid today because i was sick and tired of typing racecar, vroom, choo-choo and only being 5 mins in with 25 to go.
who knows.. but what i do know, is that tomorrow will be better. because Tomorrow amos and Jocelyne go shopping to buy MY presents.
speaking of presents.. jocelyne got a reply from a letter she wrote to santa at the indy circle of lights. saying that santa will be bringing her her yellow ducky and putting it under her tree. . . . Poor Joss is distraught that we dont have a tree up and santa wont bring her a present since he wont know where to put it.
as a time killer today, we made banana muffins and painted more presents.
Thanks for reading that is all.
Friday, December 10, 2010
everyone already knows. . . whats the big surprise.
If you will allow me "It was a great way the very best day" (*fresh beat band)
Really though today was awesome.
i got to sleep in, kids were great, i cooked, i watched the sunset with the kids on our way home from the store, i have 60 pages till i finish a 7 book series..
(*this is why i am cleaning and cooking, i want to delay the end :( to many things are happening to absorb them all at once)
and the best part, i havent done any of the homework i have to do that is due tuesday. (it is friday afterall and i deserve a break)
So what does everyone know?
Well i cooked Chicken and dumplings for the first time tonight.
we had a church group come and sing christmas carols
The kids made their Grinny (grandma) a present
I had a amazing dream about Peanut Butter Chicken. *(now lets hope i remember how to make it.)
Really though today was awesome.
i got to sleep in, kids were great, i cooked, i watched the sunset with the kids on our way home from the store, i have 60 pages till i finish a 7 book series..
(*this is why i am cleaning and cooking, i want to delay the end :( to many things are happening to absorb them all at once)
and the best part, i havent done any of the homework i have to do that is due tuesday. (it is friday afterall and i deserve a break)
So what does everyone know?
Well i cooked Chicken and dumplings for the first time tonight.
we had a church group come and sing christmas carols
The kids made their Grinny (grandma) a present
I had a amazing dream about Peanut Butter Chicken. *(now lets hope i remember how to make it.)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Video homework is funnier with kids...
Today was busy, and it started out on a sour note. When i woke up i went to go make coffee, it is after all my life water in the cold early mornings. But the water wouldnt work, so i tried the bathroom sink, nada... and the shower... and every faucet in the house. NO WATER!!! I freaked. I turned up the heat, emailed my professor about this to say i was going to be late... and i did the only thing i knew to do after turning on the heat in the house and the water... I called MY MOM.. after making a plan with her did i wake up amos to let him know what had happened. IM just glad no pipes burst...
I did make it to class only 20 mins late, I did get the kids to daycare, and i did take my final in one of my classes. ALL that was a load off.
Once I got the kids and got home, it was more then the fun i anticipated. I had Jocelyne ask to help me with my homework. So she did. I used her for my interview for HUM102. Balian of course wanted part of the action but i still stayed in the limits of the homework, rephrasing, postive reguard, and open ended questions to just name a few. Now the real fun of transcribing it all, and burning it to DVD-R. oh and 1 last paper to write before i am done for the semester.
next week will be full of tests, papers, and pictures. wish me luck and sanity.
I did make it to class only 20 mins late, I did get the kids to daycare, and i did take my final in one of my classes. ALL that was a load off.
Once I got the kids and got home, it was more then the fun i anticipated. I had Jocelyne ask to help me with my homework. So she did. I used her for my interview for HUM102. Balian of course wanted part of the action but i still stayed in the limits of the homework, rephrasing, postive reguard, and open ended questions to just name a few. Now the real fun of transcribing it all, and burning it to DVD-R. oh and 1 last paper to write before i am done for the semester.
next week will be full of tests, papers, and pictures. wish me luck and sanity.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Quit your bitching and start a revoultion.
sometimes i have to just be hard on myself. the house was/partically is a wreck. I have spent so much time doing papers that i let it go more then normal. Sot today when i got home from class, i did what any other college student does with 3 major papers to do, and a final in the morning. I delayed... i cleaned. I organized, i made dinner, i did everything but study and write my papers.
Here we are less then 11 hrs till my class and my final and i have read over my book's highlighted areas, and put it away. I have found a "NEW" subject matter to write my theories paper on but now have to get it approved. I have a fellow student going to help me with my """BIG""" paper/ transcript/video tomorrow but doing so means i miss class.
missing my PM class doesnt bother me, the teach keeps giving us time to do our reading in class and i always feel like the know it all anyway, so it wont hurt my grade (5.5pts) as much as not doing this assignment (200pts)..
after posting this i will attempt to write my final behavior change paper for class. * i say attempt because i took my ambian and wine a little bit ago.
so here is my plea, if you read this can you follow it? so i can do a screen shot and show my teacher i have readers? you can always unfollow later.
Also, i cleaned the kids rooms, washed all dirty laundry (yeah who cares that it still needs sorted and put away), did the dishes, kitchen, living room ect ect ect.... in fact it was worthy enough for jocelyne to draw my picture cleaning the house.
so to bed i go, hoping the kids stay in theirs, as well as dressed till morning. which will be a early morning for all of us.
Here we are less then 11 hrs till my class and my final and i have read over my book's highlighted areas, and put it away. I have found a "NEW" subject matter to write my theories paper on but now have to get it approved. I have a fellow student going to help me with my """BIG""" paper/ transcript/video tomorrow but doing so means i miss class.
missing my PM class doesnt bother me, the teach keeps giving us time to do our reading in class and i always feel like the know it all anyway, so it wont hurt my grade (5.5pts) as much as not doing this assignment (200pts)..
after posting this i will attempt to write my final behavior change paper for class. * i say attempt because i took my ambian and wine a little bit ago.
so here is my plea, if you read this can you follow it? so i can do a screen shot and show my teacher i have readers? you can always unfollow later.
so to bed i go, hoping the kids stay in theirs, as well as dressed till morning. which will be a early morning for all of us.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Keep up the good work
Keep it up, really? keep what up? The feeling of stress and over whelming desire to just be done with the next 2 weeks so finals will be over and i will have a break for 3 weeks from school, only to have a bunch of parties and a long drive ahead of us.
I have been juggling like a mofo. drive here, there, do this, that and dont forget this to... make this buy that, did you remember??? ARGHHH...
And people wonder why some of us go nuts during the holidays!
I dont want to fault others for my own mistakes like saying yes to much and not no enough. I should take a mental health day and stay at home and clean. Or bake, or pack for our trip to 'Bama. But all that is on my schedule for the week after next. (really it is on my To-Do list).
So this is my 5 mins to reflect on how busy i seem to be, and how i currently feel I cant handle it, though when its over and done with and I will look back and go "WOW, Look what i did?? HOW??"
I have been juggling like a mofo. drive here, there, do this, that and dont forget this to... make this buy that, did you remember??? ARGHHH...
And people wonder why some of us go nuts during the holidays!
I dont want to fault others for my own mistakes like saying yes to much and not no enough. I should take a mental health day and stay at home and clean. Or bake, or pack for our trip to 'Bama. But all that is on my schedule for the week after next. (really it is on my To-Do list).
So this is my 5 mins to reflect on how busy i seem to be, and how i currently feel I cant handle it, though when its over and done with and I will look back and go "WOW, Look what i did?? HOW??"
Monday, December 6, 2010
sedation stuper.
Had to go into the VA today for a outpatient procedure. Prep always sucks its just a shitty task (pun inteneded), i cant believe i am 28yrs old and i have had 5 colonoscopys. The sedation this time really just made me stupid. i would be talking to someone then wake up 5mins to a hour later. Soo this is why they made sure i had a driver to go home.
The kids spent most of the day at daycare since i was at the doc and once home i was in no shape or form to make sure they were safe. my mom went to go pick them up for me. once home i got some energy but now i am having dizzy spells, and lightheadedness.
now im getting ready for bed and
The kids spent most of the day at daycare since i was at the doc and once home i was in no shape or form to make sure they were safe. my mom went to go pick them up for me. once home i got some energy but now i am having dizzy spells, and lightheadedness.
now im getting ready for bed and
Sunday, December 5, 2010
fostering a family, growing together even when apart.
Its nice to spend quality time together, just ask the kids what their favorite part of the day is and it will be when we did this or that together. Life gets rushed and everyone gets over drawn, to many commitments, to little time, and something will give. Sometimes that's self-care ((SLEEP, hygiene, diet, exercise)), other times that could be family time.
I am not immune to this, no one is I think. I have tried so hard to be supermom, and yet its my kids who remind me that i dont have to be perfect i just have to love them and want whats best for them.
Fitting that we cover "Good Enough Mothering" a term coined by Donald Winnicott in the 1950's. Good enough, not bad, not spectacular, just good enough.... seems like that mom was suffering from lack of sleep, time alone, and time away to recharge.
With finals 2 weeks away, and all those end of term papers due, I have become a Good enough mother. I have done my best to find balance in the things I have to do, the things i want to do, and the things that would be fun to do.
This week I have gone twice to the children's museum, once just me and the kids (friday), and today with Amos. He was able to do some bonding with Jocelyne who has a excellent memory and will hold you to your word when you tell or promise her something. Yesterday he bonded with Balian when joss and i went shopping.
With conflicting schedules, its hard to find time to all spend together as a family. but we do, because its important. And having activities planned to do together helps, as well as "date nights", or just playing on the living room floor.
Im so thankful for a amazing husband and father to our children. Who works with me to make sure the kids have both parents here to love them and raise them.
I am not immune to this, no one is I think. I have tried so hard to be supermom, and yet its my kids who remind me that i dont have to be perfect i just have to love them and want whats best for them.
Fitting that we cover "Good Enough Mothering" a term coined by Donald Winnicott in the 1950's. Good enough, not bad, not spectacular, just good enough.... seems like that mom was suffering from lack of sleep, time alone, and time away to recharge.
With finals 2 weeks away, and all those end of term papers due, I have become a Good enough mother. I have done my best to find balance in the things I have to do, the things i want to do, and the things that would be fun to do.
This week I have gone twice to the children's museum, once just me and the kids (friday), and today with Amos. He was able to do some bonding with Jocelyne who has a excellent memory and will hold you to your word when you tell or promise her something. Yesterday he bonded with Balian when joss and i went shopping.
With conflicting schedules, its hard to find time to all spend together as a family. but we do, because its important. And having activities planned to do together helps, as well as "date nights", or just playing on the living room floor.
Im so thankful for a amazing husband and father to our children. Who works with me to make sure the kids have both parents here to love them and raise them.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
You just need to kick back sometimes.
Today Jocelyne and i went shopping, then when we came home it was time for Amos and I to go to the roller derby. Heck YEAH! I have to admit its fun to go, and i can even picture myself playing. http://naptownrollergirls.com/
It was awesome and Amos who (skipped watching the Football game) even says its kool...
tomorrow since he will have the day off, we are going back to the childrens mus so they can have fun with daddy. I would like to just stay home and do homework and study with finals just around the corner but i dont see that happening.
It was awesome and Amos who (skipped watching the Football game) even says its kool...
tomorrow since he will have the day off, we are going back to the childrens mus so they can have fun with daddy. I would like to just stay home and do homework and study with finals just around the corner but i dont see that happening.
Friday, December 3, 2010
holiday transparency
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Judging by the way things are going
Judging by they way things are going, i might need a stiff drink, a day off, and a massage but not really all in that order.
I though i needed a good cry so i got on netflix and started to watch a movie "letters to god" tearjerker, even if you just listen to it. yet even after the cry it was the wrong kind of cry so im back to sentence 1.
So my Random act of Impulse today was getting my tongue re-pierced, currently in fat "S" stage and has sworn off talking for as long as possible till the swelling goes down.
This will be the 4th time i have had it done. 1st time was in college 2001 Aug, as a act of rebellion (something I always wanted to do). 2nd time in the Army act of rebellion since you werent allowed to have it done. 3rd time, when we moved to germany as something to do, and this time.... well i just wanted it to play with again, i kinda missed and i did it because i know once i get "that professional" job the likely hood of doing it is even slimmer. So glasses up to being in your 20's, impulses, and carpe diem.
oh as another impulse/feeling of obligation, i joined the ROTC program at my school. My thinking is that once i graduate with my BSW, they will help pay for my Masters LCSW, and i will be able to be back in the army to "Fulfill" my duty to my country, family, friends...
Amos and I are going to talk about it so i can withdrawl if it is to much strain on the family. or we decided i wont be able to take it.
I though i needed a good cry so i got on netflix and started to watch a movie "letters to god" tearjerker, even if you just listen to it. yet even after the cry it was the wrong kind of cry so im back to sentence 1.
So my Random act of Impulse today was getting my tongue re-pierced, currently in fat "S" stage and has sworn off talking for as long as possible till the swelling goes down.
This will be the 4th time i have had it done. 1st time was in college 2001 Aug, as a act of rebellion (something I always wanted to do). 2nd time in the Army act of rebellion since you werent allowed to have it done. 3rd time, when we moved to germany as something to do, and this time.... well i just wanted it to play with again, i kinda missed and i did it because i know once i get "that professional" job the likely hood of doing it is even slimmer. So glasses up to being in your 20's, impulses, and carpe diem.
Amos and I are going to talk about it so i can withdrawl if it is to much strain on the family. or we decided i wont be able to take it.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Welcome to December
I love snow, lets just get that out of the way. I love the delicate look of it, how it has so many textures, and ways of falling from the sky. I love how it officially makes its apperence and i can sit inside and read or bake enjoying the prospect of being snowed in. I understand why the eskimos have so many words for "snow". Its this white blanket of peace and calm that falls to slow you down.
I was late to class today, had to finish my paper and clean up after the dog who escaped from the kennel, as well as clean up after the cats who were unable to go to the little box due to 2 closed doors in their way.
By the time I got there i decided to just slow down and take my time, heck I was already late and I electronically submitted my paper... So i took a few pics on my way in.
Class was well, class... and of course with every sticky snow fall everyone forgets how to drive. It has taken me forever to get to the kids daycare lately. (*well that and i take the long way to go by Long John Silvers since i have been craving their greasy yet tastey chicken. *dont know why but I just have been?!)
So I get to the daycare and I take 167 pictures of the school-agers, they have a backdrop i help put up, and a tree. I take the pics of the kids, their groups of friends, their stuffed animals. I had fun. And really they look really good.
So once home and bedtime rolls around Joss wont sleep in her room again (*ladybugs will land on her feet she says) and decides to sleep on the couch. Well since the lights outside shorted out (*Even though they were sold as outdoor lights) we hang "fairy lights/whilte lights" inside the living room for her to sleep by.
so here it is bedtime for me and I cant sleep. go figure, at least its still a dusting of snow outside.
I was late to class today, had to finish my paper and clean up after the dog who escaped from the kennel, as well as clean up after the cats who were unable to go to the little box due to 2 closed doors in their way.
By the time I got there i decided to just slow down and take my time, heck I was already late and I electronically submitted my paper... So i took a few pics on my way in.
Class was well, class... and of course with every sticky snow fall everyone forgets how to drive. It has taken me forever to get to the kids daycare lately. (*well that and i take the long way to go by Long John Silvers since i have been craving their greasy yet tastey chicken. *dont know why but I just have been?!)
So I get to the daycare and I take 167 pictures of the school-agers, they have a backdrop i help put up, and a tree. I take the pics of the kids, their groups of friends, their stuffed animals. I had fun. And really they look really good.
So once home and bedtime rolls around Joss wont sleep in her room again (*ladybugs will land on her feet she says) and decides to sleep on the couch. Well since the lights outside shorted out (*Even though they were sold as outdoor lights) we hang "fairy lights/whilte lights" inside the living room for her to sleep by.
so here it is bedtime for me and I cant sleep. go figure, at least its still a dusting of snow outside.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
procrastionation
sometimes procrastionation pays:
- like holding out for the deal when you really want something but dont have the money for full price. (why i always scan the clearance first)
- i didnt finish my paper now im up writng it falling asleep at the keyboard, writing jiberish that i have to deleate and making references to the UN and sharing toys when i am suppose to summarize the ethical standards for Human services workers.
Monday, November 29, 2010
positive Notes...
Looking back i have been very negitive and bitchy, and while i reserve my right to be so, today i wanted to be more positive.
Positive's:
Positive's:
- my family, even when they stress me out their smiles light my day
- our animals... the cats, the dogs, the strays they all send love and attention to you when you need it.
- Balian is going potty at "School/daycare" at this rate maybe we can be in underware by Christmas.
- I go back to school tuesday *time at home is great but i miss being around grown-ups, plus if im at school i have no excuse not to study and do homework.
- its almost bedtime for the kids.
- Ellie Mae got fixed so now we dont have to worry about puppies from any of our animals. (not to fix the cats so they dont spray)
- the presents are wrapped and put away
- girls night this weekend.
- chocolate
- waking up and walking the dogs even though i could just put them in the yard a early morning walk wakes me up and is exercise. (*shh)
Sunday, November 28, 2010
DONT underestimate the power of busy work
I know i bake when I'm stressed, i clean when i'm stressed and i craft/paint when im stressed. So how stressed am i when i do all 3 in the same day, in the same 6hr period of time? AND did homework thats not technically due yet.
I would say if you were just a casual observer looking in "pretty darn stressed"!!
I prepped 5 different types of cookie dough to bake and mail to soldiers deployed, made 2 presents for the holidays, cleaned the kitchen and living room (even scrubbed the stove). AND worked ahead in some of my classes.
I have a lot of things going on and i feel overworked and under appreciated. Who ever made it where the person working the "traditional taxable job" got more fanfare then the stay at home mom, student, domestic goddess then they need to step in my shoes.
Not to bitch, ((ok ok to bitch and moan a little)), i HATE that i have to draw the line and sometimes feel like babysitting said "breadwinner". When the balance of chores and duties that involve kids, pets, chores, laundry, and life shift past the 65/35 I get angry and bitchy. I LOVE when its 50/50 heck or when its in my favor completely and 25/75 but that requires me to be in the hospital or just sent home from hospital (post op of course because even sick and ill i still have to do my share at a 50/50 and being admitted i have no choice but to sit back and recover till off doc orders)
But really, Im sure im not the only mom, wife, or person who is master of the home that feels like this. HAS ANYONE ELSE CHECKED ON INSURANCE?? hA,. I found out that my insurance to cover me and the duties i perform on a daily basis are higher then "breadwinner" because I perform muliple tasks on a daily basis requiring more payout to fill the gap that would be left if something happened to me. Maid (cleaner, scrubber, general tidying),Go-for... (as in go for this go for that), Cook, Driver, preschool teacher, butt wiper, poop cleaner, dog walker, ouchie kisser, nurse, crafter, laundress, accountant, recreational adviser, trip planner, photographer, secretary and thats just to name a few
remember how each mothers day they tally up what a mother would idealy earn in a perfect world for doing all the things she does. and in May 2007 Salary.com released its annual take on what stay-at-home moms would be paid for their work in the business world. The symbolic figure: a whopping $138,646.YES sign me up, I would love it and ODDLY enough I find myself always shopping for the kids and everyone else and feel quilty when i get myself something unless I have "earned it" or mine is broke and non-repairable.
Back to busy work, its like a good cry, it feels better when its done and you have a sense of accomplishment.
And to all those who have family members deployed or away from you and you are wearing both hats, KOODO's to you, I have been there and done that, and I think it would be easier sometimes because i would know that they are unable to help because they are doing something for the greater good. Its just when they are next to you and not lifting a finger is what bothers me.
I would say if you were just a casual observer looking in "pretty darn stressed"!!
I prepped 5 different types of cookie dough to bake and mail to soldiers deployed, made 2 presents for the holidays, cleaned the kitchen and living room (even scrubbed the stove). AND worked ahead in some of my classes.
I have a lot of things going on and i feel overworked and under appreciated. Who ever made it where the person working the "traditional taxable job" got more fanfare then the stay at home mom, student, domestic goddess then they need to step in my shoes.
Not to bitch, ((ok ok to bitch and moan a little)), i HATE that i have to draw the line and sometimes feel like babysitting said "breadwinner". When the balance of chores and duties that involve kids, pets, chores, laundry, and life shift past the 65/35 I get angry and bitchy. I LOVE when its 50/50 heck or when its in my favor completely and 25/75 but that requires me to be in the hospital or just sent home from hospital (post op of course because even sick and ill i still have to do my share at a 50/50 and being admitted i have no choice but to sit back and recover till off doc orders)
But really, Im sure im not the only mom, wife, or person who is master of the home that feels like this. HAS ANYONE ELSE CHECKED ON INSURANCE?? hA,. I found out that my insurance to cover me and the duties i perform on a daily basis are higher then "breadwinner" because I perform muliple tasks on a daily basis requiring more payout to fill the gap that would be left if something happened to me. Maid (cleaner, scrubber, general tidying),Go-for... (as in go for this go for that), Cook, Driver, preschool teacher, butt wiper, poop cleaner, dog walker, ouchie kisser, nurse, crafter, laundress, accountant, recreational adviser, trip planner, photographer, secretary and thats just to name a few
remember how each mothers day they tally up what a mother would idealy earn in a perfect world for doing all the things she does. and in May 2007 Salary.com released its annual take on what stay-at-home moms would be paid for their work in the business world. The symbolic figure: a whopping $138,646.YES sign me up, I would love it and ODDLY enough I find myself always shopping for the kids and everyone else and feel quilty when i get myself something unless I have "earned it" or mine is broke and non-repairable.
Back to busy work, its like a good cry, it feels better when its done and you have a sense of accomplishment.
And to all those who have family members deployed or away from you and you are wearing both hats, KOODO's to you, I have been there and done that, and I think it would be easier sometimes because i would know that they are unable to help because they are doing something for the greater good. Its just when they are next to you and not lifting a finger is what bothers me.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Comfort Food in the wake of nightmares
Comfort Food... just those words can bring forth the memories of good times and situations that turned for the better. IT was my mission today. To make scrapple (AKA Fried Cornmeal Mush), its something my family has made with Thanksgiving leftovers for as long as I can remember. It goes great plain, or with a fried egg.
Last night was a BAD night. Word to the Wise, is someone next to you is having a bad dream/flash back. DONT wake them up. You may think your doing the right thing but then they are just awake fully aware of the memory that was being relived. Sleeping through it is better, at least that way the sub-conscience takes over and makes sure you dont remember as much.
My problem last night, I was having one of those intense NIghtmares and as i was feeling the room shake, the smell, the sounds, starting to relive it... i was awoken to deal with 2 kids who were awake. BY the time i went Momster on them and crawled back in bed i wept till i slept. Its been a day very long day, highlighted by the comfort food i mentioned above.
3 influencing factors, on why this might of happened. 1, forgot my meds yesterday and today (*Took them this evening when i remembered.) 2, hormonal changes. 3, as i call it, its my bad time of the year. (we had more then our fare share of Motar attacks at FOB Summerall, before my unit got to SPEICHER Christmas eve 2005. but even there they ((INsurgents)) liked to zero in on the motorpool and water tower)
I got my scrapple made and it was good, but ive been a walking BITCH... I just feel so broken. I hate that i have to relay on medication to make me even feel normal. and i hate that i feel controlled like im in a dream and cant shake it. I cant cry and feel better like i use to. I just want to sleep till its over. I wish i could sleep till its over. Tonight IM taking yet another pill to sleep hoping tomorrow its over.
Last night was a BAD night. Word to the Wise, is someone next to you is having a bad dream/flash back. DONT wake them up. You may think your doing the right thing but then they are just awake fully aware of the memory that was being relived. Sleeping through it is better, at least that way the sub-conscience takes over and makes sure you dont remember as much.
My problem last night, I was having one of those intense NIghtmares and as i was feeling the room shake, the smell, the sounds, starting to relive it... i was awoken to deal with 2 kids who were awake. BY the time i went Momster on them and crawled back in bed i wept till i slept. Its been a day very long day, highlighted by the comfort food i mentioned above.
3 influencing factors, on why this might of happened. 1, forgot my meds yesterday and today (*Took them this evening when i remembered.) 2, hormonal changes. 3, as i call it, its my bad time of the year. (we had more then our fare share of Motar attacks at FOB Summerall, before my unit got to SPEICHER Christmas eve 2005. but even there they ((INsurgents)) liked to zero in on the motorpool and water tower)
I got my scrapple made and it was good, but ive been a walking BITCH... I just feel so broken. I hate that i have to relay on medication to make me even feel normal. and i hate that i feel controlled like im in a dream and cant shake it. I cant cry and feel better like i use to. I just want to sleep till its over. I wish i could sleep till its over. Tonight IM taking yet another pill to sleep hoping tomorrow its over.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Black Friday Only comes once a year and it was nonstop...
This year was the first year, I ever went Black Friday Shopping, I spent $606.00 *(but i also bought those things i needed anyway, like pullups, a potty seat, and a new purse/wallet)**(( My vera wang's strap is cracked and my wallet is loosing money**)) But I saved...by the numbers combined savings 515.50 in store -plus- 60 kohls cash, 10 target gift card, 2 off meijer.making a combined savings of 587.50.. spent 606 - think I did ok?? I know some people saved more but for a newbie I give myself a Thumbs-up. I did get all my shopping done, from this point on if I forgot a gift or want to give more, WE Are MAKING it!
While shopping I realized people dont spend as much time with there kids as others. Some parents were mumbeling that they couldnt buy this or that toy because it ment they would have to sit there and participate (boardgame), when a video game just "shuts them up".
Which brings me to my 2nd point, Daycare/Preschool. I use to hate the idea, nope not my kids, waste of money... Till I needed them to Once i started school again we had to find a school for the kids to go 3 days a week. And i use to RUSH to pick them up. Till they got mad at me for not letting them finish nap time or have the afternoon snack. Joss has informed me that she and Balian want to be dropped off before morning 1st snack, and picked up AFTER, naptime/snacktime.
Anyway, the kids are learning more then I would have the Patience to teach them at home. My sanity is better and i Feel Im a better mother. Besides they want to go, and they arent there more then they need to be. Some kids I am now more certain that they NEED to go to socialize and PLAY with kids there own age, because sometimes parents just get overwhelmed.
So back to today "Black Friday" Amos and the kids watched the IronBowl game. War eagle!!?
Joss and I went to the Circle of Lights, with my mom and uncle. It was so nice. When she saw santa arrive it was magic! the joy and innocence in her eyes warmed my heart.
So now its bedtime, I was awoken from my nap, so Ive technically been up since, 4am.
While shopping I realized people dont spend as much time with there kids as others. Some parents were mumbeling that they couldnt buy this or that toy because it ment they would have to sit there and participate (boardgame), when a video game just "shuts them up".
Which brings me to my 2nd point, Daycare/Preschool. I use to hate the idea, nope not my kids, waste of money... Till I needed them to Once i started school again we had to find a school for the kids to go 3 days a week. And i use to RUSH to pick them up. Till they got mad at me for not letting them finish nap time or have the afternoon snack. Joss has informed me that she and Balian want to be dropped off before morning 1st snack, and picked up AFTER, naptime/snacktime.
Anyway, the kids are learning more then I would have the Patience to teach them at home. My sanity is better and i Feel Im a better mother. Besides they want to go, and they arent there more then they need to be. Some kids I am now more certain that they NEED to go to socialize and PLAY with kids there own age, because sometimes parents just get overwhelmed.
So back to today "Black Friday" Amos and the kids watched the IronBowl game. War eagle!!?
Joss and I went to the Circle of Lights, with my mom and uncle. It was so nice. When she saw santa arrive it was magic! the joy and innocence in her eyes warmed my heart.
So now its bedtime, I was awoken from my nap, so Ive technically been up since, 4am.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Family, Fun, Food, Fellowship
He is a very PASSIONATE eater! Today was amazing it had it all, FOOD lots of food, Fun (everyone kids included), and ALL the Family you can cram into a house.
AS today is a day to be thankful, I am. I am Thankful that I am here today with my amazing kids and husband. That we are happy, healthy, and free. That my family is the inclusive, accepting, sometimes crazy bunch we are.
Balian took a 4hr nap today, Joss went to sleep once we got home. Amos and I even got to escape for 2hours and go watch the movie "UNSTOPPABLE" which is a very good movie.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Good ones are hard to come by
Everyone says so.. at least everyone I talk to. The good ones are hard to come by/find. They use this to talk about cars, friends, men/women, or just things made of quality and last forever.
I will agree, to an extent.
A good friend is worth their weight in gold. Someone to talk to at anytime about anything. As you grow and mature, move, and evolve as a person, some friends come and go through your life. I have only 2 people from age 5-18. That i still call my BFF friends.
That next chapter of life called College I have 1 BFF that i still talk to today (in fact i was her matron of honor at her wedding this Aug).
Turn the page again and I have my Army Friends. only 1 i still get the occassional Email or facebook status from. 1st duty station, 1 guy (Thomas BFF), and the 3 Roommates i had.
When i PCSed to Ft.Campbell well, I married that BFF and the other just visits alot when she is in between duty stations :D...
We got to Germany and I made friends with all the neighbors, only 3-4 I would call close friends.
But now we are back in the US, and I'm back in college. I have a few girls I go to lunch with after class, or have a girls night out with. My neighbor across the street and I are wearing paths to each others doors. the Kids love to play with one another and we have a lot in common. And that friend from Germany well she lives a state away but we try to run into one another when we are in the same state. 1 has my phone number and calls/messages me alot :D
Point of all this is, a good friend in hard to come by. I dont know how many others have sat back and considered what qualifies who as a friendly acquaintance, and what makes them BFF. i explained my reasoning to someone a year or so ago and it goes like this. A BFF is someone who will come to you when your in crisis and listen, offer help, but wont judge you on this alone. a Friendly acquaintance is someone who you say HI to, kids come over, but you never bare your soul, never just hang out, and they run away and make excuses when your in crisis.
I wouldnt change who has stayed in my life and who has gone a different path. BUT I still miss one BFF from K-5th grade, I still google her name, and do name searches for her. She is the only one I wish didnt move away...
Jocelyne has been spending a lot of time looking at the pics we have of friends from Germany and we talk about them, she writes them letters though we have yet to mail them. I tell her about how friends grow and change just like people.
I am thankful for the ones that stay, for the ones that were hard to find yet i found them. Friends in the deepest sense of the word.
I will agree, to an extent.
A good friend is worth their weight in gold. Someone to talk to at anytime about anything. As you grow and mature, move, and evolve as a person, some friends come and go through your life. I have only 2 people from age 5-18. That i still call my BFF friends.
That next chapter of life called College I have 1 BFF that i still talk to today (in fact i was her matron of honor at her wedding this Aug).
Turn the page again and I have my Army Friends. only 1 i still get the occassional Email or facebook status from. 1st duty station, 1 guy (Thomas BFF), and the 3 Roommates i had.
When i PCSed to Ft.Campbell well, I married that BFF and the other just visits alot when she is in between duty stations :D...
We got to Germany and I made friends with all the neighbors, only 3-4 I would call close friends.
But now we are back in the US, and I'm back in college. I have a few girls I go to lunch with after class, or have a girls night out with. My neighbor across the street and I are wearing paths to each others doors. the Kids love to play with one another and we have a lot in common. And that friend from Germany well she lives a state away but we try to run into one another when we are in the same state. 1 has my phone number and calls/messages me alot :D
Point of all this is, a good friend in hard to come by. I dont know how many others have sat back and considered what qualifies who as a friendly acquaintance, and what makes them BFF. i explained my reasoning to someone a year or so ago and it goes like this. A BFF is someone who will come to you when your in crisis and listen, offer help, but wont judge you on this alone. a Friendly acquaintance is someone who you say HI to, kids come over, but you never bare your soul, never just hang out, and they run away and make excuses when your in crisis.
I wouldnt change who has stayed in my life and who has gone a different path. BUT I still miss one BFF from K-5th grade, I still google her name, and do name searches for her. She is the only one I wish didnt move away...
Jocelyne has been spending a lot of time looking at the pics we have of friends from Germany and we talk about them, she writes them letters though we have yet to mail them. I tell her about how friends grow and change just like people.
I am thankful for the ones that stay, for the ones that were hard to find yet i found them. Friends in the deepest sense of the word.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Racecar NOooooo
Jocelyne flushed on of Balians racecars, his Lighting McQueen to be exact. We were at the Local County Library, and while I was going to the bathroom they were running a muck. He apprently dropped it in, and Jocelyne flushed it to be mean. He cried and begged his racecar to come back. ( we had to buy a new one, and in boy fashion not 1 but 2, one for each hand)
I got a lot of things today to craft my gifts for the holidays. I still have a few things i need at the store. IM well on my way though.
Ive been looking at USAJOBS again, and I know that I HAVE TO GET MY MSW, I want a JOb working back overseas so bad and its my ticket.
I got a lot of things today to craft my gifts for the holidays. I still have a few things i need at the store. IM well on my way though.
Ive been looking at USAJOBS again, and I know that I HAVE TO GET MY MSW, I want a JOb working back overseas so bad and its my ticket.
Mondays are
Monday I didnt blog, (sorry i choose sleep), but they still are this deal breaker in my book, well at least next semester. I had hoped to clump my classes together oon Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday like i had this semester, but instead i have them MOnday, Wednesday and Thursday. I think instead though i will just bite the bullet and we will send the kids to daycare those 4 days instead of 3 so i have time to do my homework, have appts, ect. Which will cost more but I lose my "free money" to pay for school if my grades drop.
Last night my demise was a Ambian (i take on those "Bad days/nights" and the wine i was drinking... granted this was a oblivious mistake once i realized what had happened but those last moments where i was conscience enough to type and form simi-decent thoughs are now embossed in facebook for all the world to read.
So This week is Thanksgiving, and I have a lot to do. Im making the presents to give people. Making a LOT Of cookies to send to deployed troops, sides and a cold salad for the family dinner. Off to make my lists *shopping and to-do* to keep on track.
Last night my demise was a Ambian (i take on those "Bad days/nights" and the wine i was drinking... granted this was a oblivious mistake once i realized what had happened but those last moments where i was conscience enough to type and form simi-decent thoughs are now embossed in facebook for all the world to read.
So This week is Thanksgiving, and I have a lot to do. Im making the presents to give people. Making a LOT Of cookies to send to deployed troops, sides and a cold salad for the family dinner. Off to make my lists *shopping and to-do* to keep on track.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Found this to help me
FOR TODAY
Not everyday i Know what i want to write about, today is one of those days (Kinda feeling lazy) so i found this Journal starter to give me a jump start.
A picture worth sharing.
Not everyday i Know what i want to write about, today is one of those days (Kinda feeling lazy) so i found this Journal starter to give me a jump start.
A picture worth sharing.
- Outside my window...is the night, just past about 5 ft is the back of the garage where the dogs sleep
- I am thinking...why wont Joss go to bed at a decent hour.
- I am thankful for...my kitchen aid mixer
- From the kitchen... i can still smell baked peanut butter cookies
- I am wearing...pj
- I am creating...a list of things i need to do this week.
- I am going...crazy sharing 1 car
- I am reading... An Echo in the Bone: A Novel (Outlander)
- I am hoping... pass this semester with a 3.25 GPA
- I am hearing... the sound of my neighbors across the street hammer on the remodeling they are doing.
- Around the house... the dishes need washed, laundry needs to be sorted and in general a pick up is called for.
- One of my favorite things...is to take pictures
- A few plans for the rest of the week: make cookies to send to soldiers that are deployed, Family Thanksgiving, and try to go shopping
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Under my skin. . .
Nothing gets under my skin more then ignorance. Ignorance of the big issues especially! Just because we live in the US doesnt mean that religious freedom only applies to you, and you must convert the masses. AND the mass generalization of socialism, conunimism, as well as even Liberals is applaing. Really peps who taught you History? More importantly remember that for the longest time History was written by the "winners" of the conflict who wipes out the "loosers" or forced them to convert their culture to fit in the new "normal".
I have a few bumper stickers on my car that I take a lot of pride in. peacemonger is the site that has them, and i really love them. They have the kind of thing that makes you sit, stare, and question. Check them out.
I agree with this Author, we have a lot more in common then you first think. (Thats also something I am reminded of daily in my Classes) http://factoidz.com/the-belief-net-religion-quiz-what-do-you-believe/
So what brings this on?? A facebook status that got someone reading a lot Into it. As far as WE (hubby and I) had to bust out the constitution to help defend ourselves.
I have a few bumper stickers on my car that I take a lot of pride in. peacemonger is the site that has them, and i really love them. They have the kind of thing that makes you sit, stare, and question. Check them out.
I agree with this Author, we have a lot more in common then you first think. (Thats also something I am reminded of daily in my Classes) http://factoidz.com/the-belief-net-religion-quiz-what-do-you-believe/
So what brings this on?? A facebook status that got someone reading a lot Into it. As far as WE (hubby and I) had to bust out the constitution to help defend ourselves.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Rants and Raves (*But not all in that order*)
Rant:( Those who turn every facebook status or post into a Religious debate/discussion where they are "merely stating fact" but seem to be talking down to everyone who doesn't agree with them.
Rave: My camera, Thank you again Moose.
Rant: Formula Companies. Really?? Woman are unable to properly feed our babies. And here i was thinking as Mammals we could Lactate and continue on as a species like we have since the cavemen. GRRRRRrrrr I Love what this mama has to say.
http://9davids.blogspot.com/2010/11/nurse-ins-are-for-everyone.html
Rant: Helicopter Parents (this is a parent who is crammed up their childs butt and wont let them fall without making a ordeal out of it) Really?? you child doesnt know how to get up if they fall and your not there, way to teach life skills.
Rave: Finding that present you child wrote to santa for 2 months ago.. (the only thing they want)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
over acheiver... maybe a little.
I took this on the way to class today.
I was giving a presentation on the career topic " Social Workers in the Military/Veteran Setting", it was a Powerpoint but i DID NOT read slide after slide, instead I told my class we are in college they can read, im just there to give more information. I had 2 small videos in my powerpoint, I brought books, printouts, handouts, a old ACS phonebook, pictures of the veterans day parade, as well as me and my dad. I talked, a lot, in fact i went over the time requirement, but no one had any questions, the teacher didnt interrupt me at all, like she had ever person before me. >.. THIS made me worried.. So at the end of class I asked, "?Did i do ok?" she assured me i was fine, then my grade posted this evening. 100/100 Perfect score. IM glad because I need a good GPA. (Granted knowing that the teachers father was a WW2 vet was bonas)
I think i like my HUM 102 class more and more just beacuse we get to roleplay. and not to brag, IM GOOD.. like everyone compliments me on sounding/acting like a "real" therapist. But also my knack I have for getting into some crazy "client" characters that make the "helper" really think about what approch they are doing. I learn from it as well, but i do have fun.
I think Jocelyne and Balian are the cool kids at daycare... they are learning about Pilgrams and Indians (Balian made me this super cute pasta necklace), so i bring the kids TeePee to the school today for them to play with. IT was a huge success. Kids were wanting to come over for a playdate just to play with it. I was even called the Cool Mom. Next week they "perform" the 1st thanksgiving and I go take pictures.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Testing , Testing, 1..2..3...
IS this thing on?? This week has been a lot of tests, each of my classes has a Quiz/Test this week as well as I give my career presentation tomorrow. At this point in the week I am just glad that its Wednesday!
Whelmed is a good way to put it, not Over, not under, just whelmed. I have a lot of things going on and managing them as well as those unplanned for things is keeping me plenty busy.
Im still pondering the conversion I had with the homeless man yesterday. I was driving home from my class & test this morning when i acknowledged my UN-quenched desire to travel. I dont mean the vacation travel. I mean a walk-about. (I love this term, i stole it from the movie Australia where they are talking about the coming of age of youth and the journey they take).
I still want to just pack up and go... with no where special in mind, just to journey till I find the reason to go home. Not all who journey are lost.
I also acknowledged that while loosing the creature comforts that I have gotten use to, I am feeling burdened by them and I want to declutter them from my life. I do not want these things to define me more then memories others keep of me. I need to orangainz again, yet i dont know where to start.
Best place to find me today when I am all deep though cant focus on studying.. my elliptical. I try to use it everyday, some more then others, some days i take a walk or bike ride instead, and even more times then that I choose to relax and sleep. But today i was on for a while, i reset the timer so i dont know exact but i do know my legs hurt, and my butt is sore. It felt good to channel this, becasue i think i am even confusing myself trying to write it down.
The most thankful thing i am thankful off... My Family, as long as i have them i could have nothing else and my heart would be full.
Whelmed is a good way to put it, not Over, not under, just whelmed. I have a lot of things going on and managing them as well as those unplanned for things is keeping me plenty busy.
Im still pondering the conversion I had with the homeless man yesterday. I was driving home from my class & test this morning when i acknowledged my UN-quenched desire to travel. I dont mean the vacation travel. I mean a walk-about. (I love this term, i stole it from the movie Australia where they are talking about the coming of age of youth and the journey they take).
I still want to just pack up and go... with no where special in mind, just to journey till I find the reason to go home. Not all who journey are lost.
I also acknowledged that while loosing the creature comforts that I have gotten use to, I am feeling burdened by them and I want to declutter them from my life. I do not want these things to define me more then memories others keep of me. I need to orangainz again, yet i dont know where to start.
Best place to find me today when I am all deep though cant focus on studying.. my elliptical. I try to use it everyday, some more then others, some days i take a walk or bike ride instead, and even more times then that I choose to relax and sleep. But today i was on for a while, i reset the timer so i dont know exact but i do know my legs hurt, and my butt is sore. It felt good to channel this, becasue i think i am even confusing myself trying to write it down.
The most thankful thing i am thankful off... My Family, as long as i have them i could have nothing else and my heart would be full.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Homeless Hitch-hiker.
Today before my HUMS 102 class I was on my way to Indy after eating lunch with Amos, we just had a quick bite at the local McDonalds at Mt.Comfort Rd. I was on the on ramp when i slowed to see a man looking for a ride. There was something about his eyes that had me stop, they spoke to me of humanity. HIs name was Mike, he is 54yrs old and a Widower. He had a green army duffle bag he got at a surplus store to carry his worldly belongings, and he wore a brown duck cloth carhart jacket, jeans, and winter boots. He didnt smell but i wasnt worried about that.
We spoke about why he is homeless and how long he has been like that. (3yrs currently, but as a 6th grade dropout, with a GED, the only time he claims to have had a "HOME" was when he was married for 14yrs. His wife died in 1995 of cancer of the nervous system. Since then he has tried to be 'tied down' but he just cant.
He has had his belongings stolen a few times, and had to start over even more then that, but he says being homeless has freed him. He was the most though provoking person i have talked to in a while. We talked about how people have stopped nurturing their children in persuit of things, when kids need love and attention more then toys. We talked about the election, health care bill, Veterans, my choice of career field, homelessness, drugs (he avoids drugs and alocohol), "service organizations" like soup kitchens (he doesnt go for handouts), weapons, (he doesnt carry or condone violence), war (his nephew served and he is proud of his vets).
The most important was his views on materialistic things. He only carries when he needs, and gives what he can to others worse off then him.
He has traveled coast to coast 4 times, and makes his rounds of Indiana once a year depending on the season/weather.
His smile was sincear, coffee & nicotine stained teeth grinning back to me. He even offfered me some money for the ride. I declined Thanking HIM for helping me ponder things i was already dealing with.
My point is, yes i know that picking up people can be dangerous, but i didnt have my kids with, and my spirit was calmed by him. He was possibly my angel in disguise. I could of easily drove past even not stop or drive off when he started to walk to me. But i trusted myself that my judge of character and for that I am rewarded by this conversation.
We spoke about why he is homeless and how long he has been like that. (3yrs currently, but as a 6th grade dropout, with a GED, the only time he claims to have had a "HOME" was when he was married for 14yrs. His wife died in 1995 of cancer of the nervous system. Since then he has tried to be 'tied down' but he just cant.
He has had his belongings stolen a few times, and had to start over even more then that, but he says being homeless has freed him. He was the most though provoking person i have talked to in a while. We talked about how people have stopped nurturing their children in persuit of things, when kids need love and attention more then toys. We talked about the election, health care bill, Veterans, my choice of career field, homelessness, drugs (he avoids drugs and alocohol), "service organizations" like soup kitchens (he doesnt go for handouts), weapons, (he doesnt carry or condone violence), war (his nephew served and he is proud of his vets).
The most important was his views on materialistic things. He only carries when he needs, and gives what he can to others worse off then him.
He has traveled coast to coast 4 times, and makes his rounds of Indiana once a year depending on the season/weather.
His smile was sincear, coffee & nicotine stained teeth grinning back to me. He even offfered me some money for the ride. I declined Thanking HIM for helping me ponder things i was already dealing with.
My point is, yes i know that picking up people can be dangerous, but i didnt have my kids with, and my spirit was calmed by him. He was possibly my angel in disguise. I could of easily drove past even not stop or drive off when he started to walk to me. But i trusted myself that my judge of character and for that I am rewarded by this conversation.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Impress the dead.
I have vivid dreams; sometimes they are of what happened in Iraq those are the bad kind, but sometimes I meet up with my stepdad. He died the day before my 15th birthday so it seems we are linked for the rest of my life. Im Ok with that. Because In my dreams we can talk, or cook, or just reflect. I think he is my spiritual guide in the loose definition of the term. Because when i have a dream, with him in it he and I cooking, i can wake up and make a meal i would of never dreamed of making before. some of the best mexican ever, and then as quickly as i knew how to make something i just Forget....
Growing up, he demanded a clean and tidy house, biggest to littlest, shortest to tallest, in alphabetical order, or color sequence. A real pain in the ass when your a kid. HE also demanded we do well in school, and in life.
Lately I've let a lot go, i will wash the laundry but not sort and put it away, heck we even hired a neighbor to help me keep the house clean once a week since im so overwhelmed with school and i want to keep my GPA up. Today, i channeled him. I cleaned my house like i havent in a while. Even matched SOCKS!!!
With only 4 more weeks of school (not counting "fall break") I guess im still trying to impress him with my ability to juggle everything. I'm ok with that, he was a great role model even if sometimes it was more on what NOT to do with life. Overall im sure he would be proud of me, even if i didnt go to school to be a doctor.
Growing up, he demanded a clean and tidy house, biggest to littlest, shortest to tallest, in alphabetical order, or color sequence. A real pain in the ass when your a kid. HE also demanded we do well in school, and in life.
Lately I've let a lot go, i will wash the laundry but not sort and put it away, heck we even hired a neighbor to help me keep the house clean once a week since im so overwhelmed with school and i want to keep my GPA up. Today, i channeled him. I cleaned my house like i havent in a while. Even matched SOCKS!!!
With only 4 more weeks of school (not counting "fall break") I guess im still trying to impress him with my ability to juggle everything. I'm ok with that, he was a great role model even if sometimes it was more on what NOT to do with life. Overall im sure he would be proud of me, even if i didnt go to school to be a doctor.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Need a time-out!!! Family Time.
Today I was having a MOMster moment, and just needed a break. It was the first time in 4 months that Amos has had a day off so we went to the Children's Museum.
Balian of course loved being at the trains, in fact he didnt even care about the dinosaurs if there were trains around.
Jocelyne loved making towers in the science center with Amos.
And I, well I never got to runaway and have some time alone, at least till we got home and I took the comforters to the laundromat to do 2 big loads of blankets. I worked on my homework and edited pics.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
a few pictures in...
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