Impress the dead.

I have vivid dreams; sometimes  they are of what happened in Iraq those are the bad kind, but sometimes I meet up with my stepdad. He died the day before my 15th birthday so it seems we are linked for the rest of my life. Im Ok with that. Because In my dreams we can talk, or cook, or just reflect. I think he is my spiritual guide in the loose definition of the term. Because when i have a dream, with him in it he and I cooking, i can wake up and make a meal i would of never dreamed of making before. some of the best mexican ever, and then as quickly as i knew how to make something i just Forget....

Growing up, he demanded a clean and tidy house, biggest to littlest, shortest to tallest, in alphabetical order, or color sequence. A real pain in the ass when your a kid. HE also demanded we do well in school, and in life.

Lately I've let a lot go, i will wash the laundry but not sort and put it away, heck we even hired a neighbor to help me keep the house clean once a week since im so overwhelmed with school and i want to keep my GPA up. Today, i channeled him. I cleaned my house like i havent in a while. Even matched SOCKS!!!

With only 4 more weeks of school (not counting "fall break") I guess im still trying to impress him with my ability to juggle everything. I'm ok with that, he was a great role model even if sometimes it was more on what NOT to do with life. Overall im sure he would be proud of me, even if i didnt go to school to be a doctor.