it was one of "those" nights last night, where insomnia was winning the battle even against an ambian. I ended up sleeping on the couch falling to sleep out of exhaustion somewhere later then 230am (that was the last time I remember looking at the clock). Waking up was difficult. And since Im still process yesterday, I went on default mode, I baked. Baking and cooking is what I do when I need to feel control over something. Cleaning is pointless when I am in these moods. Because the kids will just follow behind me and destroy all that I have done. And there will be nothing to show for the work I did. But cooking/baking. That has a positive outcome. I can follow the directions or just let food inspire me, and I will have a meal or dessert for my family at the end of it. Something accomplished, a sliver of control.
I ended up grilling steaks that we had frozen, making beans, and home made potatoe salad, yeast rolls, bread, egg/tuna salad (for wednesday), and ice tea.
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